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IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


Hiotographic 

Sciences 

Corporation 


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s' 


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D 
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tae>iw»fc*H»Twai>i^*Bijga»ia»-ir*iS»fcW.-wa 


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ills 

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Jifier 

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age 


rata 
> 


elure. 


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1 

2 

3 

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empreinte. 

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et  de  haut  en  bas,  en  prenant  le  nombre 
d'images  n^cessaire.  Les  diagrammes  suivants 
illustrent  la  mdthode. 


t 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

'*"|  iwiitHiitiillHliijUl'IIIIIWIHBU'i'i''  "'"11  "n  iiiliiiaWTin 


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HI  III!  II     10" 


vfJi-*'^  '7.i<:<'r«=> 


BONE  TO  GNAW, 


FOR    THE 


DEMOCRATS! 


O  R, 


OBSERVATIONS 


O   N 


A     PAMPHLET, 


ENTITLEDj' 


"  The  Political  Prosn/s  of  Britain. 


P  HI  LADE  LP  HI  J: 
Prikted   for  the    PURCHASERS. 


1795- 


iifWMffagfegt 


,  -^. .,, .._ . 


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iv 

i 

PREFACE.         > 

• 

READER, 

J 


If  you  have  a  Shop  to  mind,  or  any 
other  bufine/s  to  do,  I  advifeyou  to  go  and 
do  it,    and  let  this  book  alone  ;  for  J  can 
afTureyou,  it  contains  nothing  oj  half  jo 
much  importance  to  you  as  th:Jale  of  a 
fkein  of  thread  or  a  yard   of  tabe.    By 
fuch  atranfaBion  you  might  poffibly  make 
a  net  profit  of  half  a  farihmg   a  thing 
thovgh  jeemingly  of  fmall  value,  muck 
more  worthy  your  attention  than  the  trea^ 
fures  under  the  State  Houfe  at  Am/ler- 
-^dam,  or  all  the  mines  of  Peru.     Half  a 
farthing    might  lay  the  foundation  oj  a 
brilliant  fortune,   and  fooner    than  you 
fhould  be  deprived  of  it  by   this  work 
though  it  may   be  called  my  offspring,  I 
would, like  the  worfhippers of  Molcch,com^ 
mit  it  to  the  flames  with  my  own  hands. 

If  you  are  of  that  f ex,  vulgarly  called 
the  lair,  but  which  ought  Always  to  be 
called  the  Divine,  let  me  befeechyou  if  you 
value  your  charms,  to  proceed  no  further. 
Politics  is  a  mixture  of  anger  and  deceit, 

A2 


:=t-' 


ff 


5-  i" 


IK 


IV 


^    ^^    E    F    A   C   r,. 


Soddefs  evc^  fair  „r,]^     '"""  J>>"i  Hche, 
though  Venus  ot^rJ,    y'jSod^  i  ind 

■  A«-  iiov.d  Pan  :v;/it'  ?,^'^^/ 

<^rms."    And.  have  T noL  ,     '""^J'^'f 
.     ample  of   recent     ,  ^  'frsW*  cv- 

;  «««  that  oftZ'JfZ,  '''""I-  '^''^   i 
of  Vlomen. /he  had  as  IThLrL    ^^^^ 

you  would  u'ifii  t;  rf,      JL  """■  "•> 

theJeconA  Ihelt  oft^  -^nd  that,  before 

great    deal  7nhif,'r    4i         5^^"<^,   and   a 
'nufl  needs  thik  hit?;   ''''fi"''    ^"« 

"'Onto  everyZ'tLrTtttTr  ,"'!" 
"ad;  but  I  de  lare    ,f  "^'/aj',  to  be 

Meach  one  auburn  rmJef'  ■^'""'"'  ""''' 
harr;  fooner  ZrTtCZu  "^f"^'' 
heavenly  /mile,  I  ^ould  ,mT,  r  ^  '^' 
^r-y  pamphlet  tornuft  T.Jl"-^"'''-^" 
a  I^'inocraticclub   Ji  ^'^'^^ ',''' P'P"  of 


'y 


i 


^  of  Beau. 
poliLician, 

the  rojes; 
^gefets  his 
indHche, 
J,  chattcr- 
ods  ;  and 

behalf  of 

Diomcde 

name  of 
n-ible  ex- 
date?   I 
iry  Wol- 
a^,  that, 
2 -Rights 
hair  as 
i,  he/ore 
It  to  the 

and  a 
1.    You 
m  com- 
y,  to  be 
'r  than 
ajingle 
of  one 
ire  fee 
ipes  of 
•heVo- 
Scotch 
'^lavfes 


I 


PREFACE.  ,  V 

It  is  a  little  fingularfor  an  author  to 
write  a  Preface  to  hinder  his  work  Jrom 
being  read  ;  hut  this  is  not  my  intention  ; 
very  far  Jrom  it  :  all  I  wijh  to  do,  is,  to 
confine  it  within  its  proper  Jphere.  I  am 
aware  that  my  fincerity  zn  this  rejped  may 
be  called  in  qu(fion,  and  that  malice  may 
afcribe  to  mc  fnotives  that  never  entered  my 
thoughts:  but  of  this  I  am  totally  legard- 
lefs  ;  my  work  anfwers  to  its  title,  and, 
conjeauently,  nobody  but  the  Democrats 
can  have  any  thing  to  do  with  it.  Nor 
does  it  court  their  approbation  ;  I  throw 
it  in  amongfl  them,  as  among/l  a  kennel 
of  hounds  :  let  them fnar land groiol  over 
it,  and  gnaw  it,  and  f  aver  it  ;  the  more 
they  wear  out  their  fangs  this  luay,  the  lejs 
dangerous  will  be  their  bite  hereafter, 

Philadelphia,  Jan.  loth,  179^- 


li'jLfe'u^iJi-'sja^""^ 


,-■•( 


"«*-»•,. 


l'^": 


f:     i 


t* 


■'.\> 


l^**' 


BONE    TO    GNAW, 


FOR  THE 


DEMOCRATS. 


ot 


THOUGH  the  good  people  of  America  can- 
not for  their  lives  comprehend  the  views, 
from  which  they  have   been  favoured  with  a 
publication  of  The  PoUtical  Progrefs  of  Bntatn, 
we  may  fuppofe,  that  the  fondneis  ot  the  Author 
led  him  to  fee  a  poffibility  of  its  being  read ; 
and,  as  it  is  in  the  nature  of  reading  to  give  rife 
to  obfervations,  he  will  not  be  furpnfed,  that 
fome  of  thofe,  arifing  from  the  reading  of  his 
patriotic  labours,  have,  by  a  very  ordinary  pro- 
cefs,  found  their  way  into  print.     It  is  thus  that 
books,  more  grateful  than  the  children  of  men 
never  fail  to  yield  afliftance  to  thofe  that  have 
given  them  birth.    Whenever  negled  lays  its 
icy  hand  on  an  unfortunate  production,  another 
flies  to  its  aid  ;  and,  though  it  cannot  cancel 
the  irrevocable  doom;  it  faves  it,   for  a  mo- 
ment at  leaft,   from  the  jaws  of  the  unclean 
monfter,  that  is  day  and  night  gaping  to  receive 
it.    Such  being,  at  leafl  in  part,  the  charitable 


:i        it 


J 


•     'l 


^H-^'.l'J'tl.***    'J 


■f 

r 


■^ 
it^ 


(     2     ) 

views  of  this  phamphlct,  itwilluiulnubtedlymcVf 
with  a  hearty  welcome  from  all  the  friends  of 
fhc  Political  Progrefs,  and  particularly  from 
Its  Author. 

Let  mc  then  nfk  ;  what  could  induce  him  to 
coni^  a'  the  w.V  from  Edinborough  to  PhilaJel- 
phia  .)  make  an  attack  upon  poor  old  England? 
And,  if  this     be   fatisAiftorily   accounted    for 
upon  principles  of  domeflic  philofophy,  which 
teaches  us,  that  froth  and  fcum  flopped  in  at  one 
place  will  burfl  out  at  another,  lUjJ  I  muft  be 
permitted  to  alk  ;  what  could    induce  him    to 
imagine,  that  the   citizens  of  the  United  States 
were,  in  any  manner  whatever,    interefted   in 
the  affair  ?  What  are  his  adventures  in  Scotland, 
and  his  «  narrow  cfcape, "  to  us,  who  live  on 
this  fide  the  Atlantic  ?  What  do  wc  care  whether 
his  aflbciatcs,  Ridgway  and  Symns,  are  ftill  in 
\  Newgate,  or  whether  they  have  been  tranflated 
to  Surgeons  Hall  ?  Is  it  any  thing  to  us  whether 
he   prefers  Charley  to   George,  or  George  to 
Charley,  any  more  than  wether  he  ufed  to  eat 
his  burgoo  with  his  fingers  or  with  a  horn  fpoon? 
what  are  his  debts  and  his  mifery  to  us  ?  Juft 
as  if  we  cared  whether  his   pofteriors  were  cov- 
ered   with  a  pair   of  breeches,  or   a   kelt,  or 
whether  he  was  literally  fans  culotte?    In  Great 
Britain,  indeed,  his  barking  might  anfwer  fome 
purpofe;    there  he  was  near    the  objc-a  of  his 
fury;  but  here  he  is  like  a  cur  howling  at  the 
Moon.  ^ 

Indeed,  he  himfelf  feems  to  have  been  fully 
fenfibleof  theridiculoufnefs  of  the  fituation  in 
which  this  publication  would  place  him,  and 
therefore  he  has  had  the  precaution  to  furround 
himfelf  with  company  to  keep  him  in  counte- 
nance.    He  fays  that  Mr.  Jefferfon,  late  Amcri- 


/ 


i™_- 


■sm 


unclnubfallymcet 
all  the  fricncis  of 
articularly    from 

ilii  iniliicc  him  to 
uugh  to  PhilaJt'l- 
•nor  old  England? 
■   accounted    for, 
hilofophy,  which 
I  ftopped  in  at  one 
'Ty  UijI  I  muft  be 
I    induce  him    to 
the  United  States 
tr,    interefted  in 
tures  in  Scotland, 
'  us,  who  live  on 
)  wccarc  whether 
w/isy  are  ftill  in 
e  been  tranflated 
ing  to  us  whether 
c,  or  George  to 
:r  he  ufed  to  eat 
itha  hornfpoon? 
lifery  to  us  ?  Jufl: 
teriors  were  cov- 
i,  or   a   kelt,  or 
ilotte?    In  Great 
ight  anfwer  fome 
he  objedt  of  his 
howling  at  the 

have  been  fully 
the  fituation  in 
place  him,  and 
ition  to  furround 
him  in  counte- 
'fo/if  late  Amcri- 


/. 


(    3    ) 

<lan  Secretary  of  State,  fpoke  of  his  woric,  on 
different  occafions,  in  refpcttful  terms  ;  and  that 
hededareil,  "  it  contained  the  molt  aflonilhing 
*'  concentration  of  abufes,  that  he  had  ever  heard 
**  of."  "  He  tells  us  befides,  that  6//;ir^^ai//('/w« 
have  delivered  their  opinions  to  the  fameeffeft; 
and  that  their  encouragement  was  one  principal 
caufe  of  the  appearance  of  this  amcrican  edition. 
And  did  he  in  good  earnell,  imagine  that  mix- 
ing witli  fuch  company  would  render  his  p-^rlbn 
facredand  invulnerable  ?  lie  fhouUl  have  recol- 
!e£led,that, though  une/tvj V-y  rtierp infcdha  whole 
flock,  he  docs  not  thereby  work  his  own  cure. 

As  to  Mr.  Jcffcrfotiy  I  mull:  fuppofe  him  en- 
tirely out  of  the  Qiicdion  ;  for,  nobody  that  has 
thelcaftknowleJgeot  the  talent:!, penetr.ition  and 
tafte  of  that  Gentleman  ,  will  ever  believe,  that 
he  could  find  any  thing  worthy  of  refpcH  in  a 
produftion,    evidently  intended  to  feducc   the 
rabble  of  North  Britain.     Befidcs,  upon  looking 
n  fecond  time  over  the  words  attributed  to  Mr. 
Jeffcrfon,  I  think,  it  is  eafy  to  difcover,  that  the 
quotation  is  erroneous  :  the  word  abufcs,  I  ant 
pretty   confident,  fhould  be,  abitj'e  ;  and  thus, 
by  leaving  out  an  j,  the  fentence  expreflfes  ex- 
aftly  what  one  would  expect  from  fuch  a  pcrlim 
as  Mr.  Jcffcrfon  :  "  thatthe  work  contained  the 
•'  mod  aflonifhing  concentration   of  abufc,  that 
*'  he  had  ever  heard  of." 

With  fcfpe£t  to  thofe  other  gentlemen  whofe  en- 
couragement has  thrufted  the  Author  forward. 
It  is  not  difficult  to  guefs  to  what  dan  they  be- 
long; but,  let  them  be  who  they  may,  and  let 
their  fituation  be  what  it  may  (and  if  I  am  right 
in  my  guefs,  it  is  at  this  time  aukward  enough,) 
I  think^hey  would  not  exchan_:;j  it  for  the    n.ie 


■  j 


■ 

i. 

t 

I 
i 


iiliJIi*  I 


•liiJK- 


(     i 


(    4    ) 

they  have  placed  him  in.  He  vainly  imagines 
himfclf  the  hero  of  the  farce,  v;hcn  he  is  nothing 
but  the  butibon.  Indeed  he  has  defcri'oed  the 
part  he  is  afting  better  than  I,  or  any  one  elfe 
can  d^  it.  He  fays  that  Authors  of  revolutio- 
nary pamphlets  form  a  kind  of  "  forlorn  hope 
on  the  fkirts  of  battle".  Every  one  knows, 
that  the  forlorn  hope,  or  enfans  perdus^  was,  a- 
mongft  the  ancient  Gauls,  compofcd  of  the  out- 
cafts  of  fcciety  ;  wretches  whofe  lives  were  al- 
ready forfeited  (and  who  had  not  had  the  good 
luck,  like  our  Author,  to  *'  qfcape")  who  were 
fet  in  the  front  of  battle,  not  for  their  courage^ 
but  their  crimes.  The  comparifon  he  has  pilfer- 
ed from  Dean  Swift  ;  it  is  therefore  juft  to  re- 
turn it  to  its  owner  ;  but  as  to  the  application 
of  itto  h'mfelf,  I  amcertain,  nobody  can  have 
the  lead  objedilion. 

However,  I  can  hardly  imagine,  that  the  eii' 
couragemcnt  of  thpfe  gentlemen  would,  alone,  have 
dragged  him  into  fo  dangerous  a  fcrvice ;  I  think, 
his  conducl  may  be,  in  part,  accounted  for  up- 
on phylical  principles.  Wc  are  told,  that  there 
is,  or  ought  to  be,  about  every  human  body, 
a  certain  part  called  the  crumena,  upon  which 
depends  the  whole  CEconomy  of  the  inteflines. 
When  the  crumena  is  full,  the  inteftines  are  in  a 
corrrefpondent  ftate  ;  and  then  the  body  is  in- 
clined to  repofe,  and  the  mind  to  peace  and  good 
neighbourhood  :  but  when  the  crumena  *  be- 
comes empty,  the  fympathetic  inteflines  are  im- 
mediately contraded,  and  the  whole  internal 
ftate  of  the  patient  is  thrown  into  infurredion 
and  uproar,  which,  communicating  itfelf  to  the 

'  •'  » Thcpuvfc  7  . 


r 


■-■l.'-»IJ»_-l-i'-L..Jl' 


■iiiHi  ii'<iii 


-le  vainly  imogines 
jwhcn  he  is  notiiing 
has  defcribed  the 
I,  or  any  one  elfe 
ithors  of  revolutio- 
of  "  forlorn  hope 
Every  one  knows, 
fans  perdusy  was,  a- 
ompofcd  of  the  out- 
i-hofe  lives  were  al- 
id  not  had  the  good 
■  efcape")  who  were 
)t  for  their  courage^ 
arifon  he  has  pilfer- 
therefore  juft  to  re- 
5  to  the  application 
,  nobody  can  have 

tnagine,  that  the  en- 
t  would,  alone,  have 
us  a  fcrvice ;  I  think, 
,  accounted  for  up- 

are  told,  that  there 
jvery  human  body, 
tmena,  upon  which 
ly  of  the  inteflines. 
le  inteftines  are  in  a 
then  the  body  is  in- 
id  to  peace  and  good 

the  crumena  *  be- 
:ic  inteflines  are  ira- 
the  whole  internal 
n  into  infurredion 
aicating  itfelf  to  the 


(    5 


} 


\-Y 


brain,  produces  what  a  learned  flate  phyllcian 
calls,  the  mama  nforniatio\  and  if  this  malady  is  not 
flopped  at  once,  by  the  help  of  a  hempen  neck- 
lace, or  fome  other  remedy  equally  efficacious, 
it  never  fails  tobreakout  into  Atheii'm,  Robbery, 
Unitarianifm,Swindling,  Jacobinifm,  MalTacres, 
Civic  Fealls  andinfurredions.  Now,  it  appears 
to  me,  that  our  unfortunate  Author  muft  be 
afflifted  with  this  dreadful  malady,  and  if  fo,_I 
will  appeal  to  any  man  of  feeling,  whether,  his 
friends  would  not  have  (hewn  their  humanity, 
in  relieving  him  by  other  means  than  thofe  they 
have  encouraged  him  to  employ  ;  which,  Isefides 
being  unproduftive,  have  expdfed  both  him  and 
them  to  the  birch  of  public  opinion. 

Such  are  the  mighty  effeas  of  the  mania  re- 
formatio,  that  I  was  at  fir  ft  inclined  to  believe, 
we  were  indebted  to  that  alone  for  the  publica  • 
cation  in  queftion  ;  and  that  ihe  gentlemen,  from 
whom  the  Author  had  received  encouragement  to 
proceed,  were  purely  the  creatures  of  his  difor- 
dered  imagination ;  but  I  have  lately  feen  it  in- 
troduced topublicnoticefooften,andinfuch  away, 
that  I  have  been  obliged  to  change  my  opinion. 

A  Newlpapet  printed  at  Philadelphia,  whofe 
motto  is,  "  The  public  will  our  guide ; — the  public 
good  our  aim"  has  borne  a  confpicuous  part  m 
"  -ulhering  this  dark  born  devil  into  light."  In 
one  number  of  thot  truely  puffing  print,  the 
fpeech  of  a  member  ofCongrefs  is  cut  afunder 
in  the  middle,  for  the  purpofe  of  wedging  in  an 
extrad  from  The  Political  Progrefs  of  Britai^u 
The  debate  was  on  thj  propriety  of  lbs  houfes  cen- 
furing  certain  focicties  that  had  ajftftcd  in  bringing 
about  an  infurredion  in  the  wejhrn  counties  ofPen- 
fylvania  ;  and  the  extraded  morfcl,  wedged  in 

B2 


T'k^A^  ^.-'k"  '  '^JSfS^^  "'L   -  i  -  "T 


|UH)i^<l^l>**« 


i:     ¥ 


i'^ 


•I 


^1^, 


i 


as  above  mentioned,  went  to  prove  that  bread 
was  abfolutcly  dearer  in  Scotland  than  in  England  I 
— Well  enough  may  you  flare,  reader.  Was 
there  ever  fuch  an  impudent,  fuch  a  barefaced 
puffTii  this,  fince  the  noble  art  of  puffing  has 
been  difcovered  ?  And  did  the  author  of  it  ima- 
gine, that  there  was  any  two  legged  creature  fo 
ftupid  as  nottoperceive  it  ?  It  is  a  kind  of  public 
infult  to  our  underftandings.  Why  not  fay 
candidly;  "gentleman' and  ladies,  here  is  a 
poor  man  in  diftrefs,  who,  for  want  of  better 
employment,  has  trumped  up  an  old  pamphlet, 
which  he  propofes  to  fell  for  a  new  one  ;  in 
buying  each  of  you  one,  you  will  render  him  a 
great  iervicc,  and  the  bookfeller  a  ftill  greater  ; 
for,  unlefs  you  will  be  pleafed  to  beftow  your 
charitVjthe  worms  will  ftuffaway  upon  the  work, 
while  the  Author's  belly  will  be  empty."  This 
would  have  been  plain  downright  honed  dealing, 
and  would  have  brought  the  wilhed-for  relief 
at  once.  We  give  a  fixpence  to  a  good  blunt 
beggar  who  tells  his  cafe  in  three  words  ;  but 
we  have  not  time  to  liften  to  the  canting  fybil 
that  offers  to  tell  our  fortunes  for  a  halfpenny. 
The  gazette  above  mentioned,  in  good  will 
to  Great  Britain,  does  not  yield  to  The  Political 
Progrefs  itfelf.  It  can  do  any  thing,  it  can  work 
miracles,  when  the  "  public  will  "  requires  it. 
For  this  year  pafl  it  has  kept  an  army  of  a 
hundred  thoufand  Carmagnoles  in  conflant  rea- 
dincfs  to  invade  England,  and  has  even  landed 
them  once,  and  fet  them  to  fricaflfeeing  the  poor 
Englifh,  with  as  little  mercy  as  they  do  the  poor 
Frogs  in  their  own  country.  Nor  is  it  fecond 
to  any,  with  refpedto  home  affairs.  It  maybe 
called  the  political  barometer  of  the  Union.     At 


MTMMm 


prove  that  bread 
I  than  in  England  ! 
re,  reader.  Was 
fuch  a  barefaced 
rt  of  puffing  has 
;  author  of  it  ima- 
legged  creature  fo 
s  a  kind  of  public 
Why  not  fay 
ladies,  here  is  a 
or  want  of  better 
an  old  pamphlet, 
a  new  one  ;  in 
will  render  him  a 
er  a  ftill  greater  ; 
d  to  beftow  your 
'ay  upon  the  work, 
be  empty."  This 
;ht  honed  dealing, 
:  wifhed-for  relief 
to  a  good  blunt 
three  words  ;  but 
the  canting  fybil 
;  for  a  halfpenny. 
>ned,  in  good  will 
;ld  to  The  Political 
thing,  it  can  work 
will  "  requires  it. 
t  an  army  of  a 
es  in  conftant  rea- 
1  has  even  landed 
cafleeing  the  poor 
they  do  the  poor 
Nor  is  it  fecond 
ifFairs.  It  maybe 
)f  the  Union.     At 


'• ' 


a  time  when  the  atmofphere  of  popular  opinion 
feemed  to  lower  over  the  principal  officers  ot  the 
Federal  Government,  the  Editor,  in  contormi- 
ty  to  the  firft  part  of  his  motto,  expunged  the 
word  Federal  irom  the  title  of  his  gazette.     As 
a  reafon  for  this  alteration,  he  obferves,  with  his 
ufual  modeay  :  "  previous  to  the  adoption  ct 
«  the  Federal  Conftitution,  this  paper  bore  an 
«'  honourable  and  decided  part  in  its/^i;o«r-,  but 
"  this  Conftitution  no  /ow^^r  needs  the   ^'doi^ 
«  Newfpaper.  "  Notwithllanding  this  plaulible 
excufe,  moft  people  thought,  that  the   expun- 
eing  of  the  word  Federal  had  fomething  ominous 
in  it.     1  confefs  myfelf  to  have  been  among  that 
number;    1  thought,  I   could  Pf c^^^^_\^,  '^ 
a  preparatory  ftep  to  fomething  clfe  :  as  ikilltul 
mariners,    when  they   fee  a  ftorm    gathering, 
throw  the  heavy  lumber  overboard,    that    they 
may  be  able  to  tack  with  more  celerity.     And,  u 
things  had  taken  a  different  turn  from  what  they 
did,    who   knows  but  we  might  have  feen  the 
protean  Editor  change  his   prefent   refpeaab  e 
Ln  *  for  the  head  of  Citizen  Genet  ?  Happily 
for  all  parties,  we  have  been  fpared  this  morti- 
fication. ..,r  ■L  .C 

I  ftop  here  to  throw  myfelf  on  the  mercy  ot 
thereader.  "Adigreffion,  "  fays  Shaftfbury, "  i^ 
"  ever  inexcufable  in  proportion  as  the  lubjett 
«  of  it  is  contemptible.  "  Acknowledgmg,  as 
I  do,  the  juftnefs  of  this  maxim,  1  am  but  too 
well  affured,  that  nothing  can  apologize  tor  the 
ditrreffion  I  have  juft  been  led  into.  , 

The  Political  Progrefs  has  more  than  one  Itring 
to  its  bow.     The  Editor  above  mentioned  is 

*  Wafliington's  Head» 


furpatTed  in  charity  by  one  of  his  brethren  of  the 
iame  city  ;  the  firft  has  only  bedaubed  it  with 
his  praiies,  while  the  latter  has  taken  it  under 
his  own  roof.     I  Ihall  trouble  the  reader  with  but 
one  inflance,  amoncr  a  hundred,  of  this  gentle- 
mans  generofity.     He  is  upon  the  fubjed  of  the 
blood  that  has  been  flied  in  France,  lince   the 
commencement  of  the  Revolution.     He  fays,  it 
would  be  an  eafy  matter  to  apologize  for  all  \he 
mafjacns  that  have  taken  place  in  that  country  ; 
"  but,  even  taking  them  as  they  are,  it  will  be 
♦*  tbund,  upon  refleaion,  that,  at  this  moment,  the 
*^  fum  of  human  happinefs  is  greater  in  France 
"  than  in  the  S^ueen  ofljhs',  "  thefe  are  his  very 
words.  To  prove  this,  he  prefents  us  with  "an 
*'  anecdote,  copied  from  a  work  of  great  merit  (to 
"/v  had  at  the  office  of  the  Aurora  J  entitled,  "  The 
I'  Political  Frognff  of  Britain."  'J'his  rare  anecdote 
inrorms  us,  that,  in  the  year  one  thoufand feven 
hundred  and  feventy  fc-vcn,  a  woman  was  hanged 
at  Tyburn  for  ftealin;^  a  piece  of  linen.      Now, 
how  the  hanging  of  a  woman  at  Tyburn,   in 
)111-,  could  reduce  the  fum  of  human  happinefs 
in  the  queen  of  liles,  in  1794 ;   and  how  the  re- 
dudion  o[  the  fum  of  human  happinefs  in  the 
Queen  of  Ifles  could  make  an  addition  to  the 
fum   of  human  happinefs  in  France,  is,  I  prc- 
fumc,  a  problem  to  be  folved  by  thole,  and  thofe 
alone,  who  have  been  initiated  in  the  arcanum 
cf  democratic  algebra. 

Many  have  been  the  conjedures  on  the  rea- 
fon  of  this  Print's  affuming  the  natee  of  Aurora. 
The  Editor,  after  having,  like  a  fecond  Phae- 
ton,  driven  the  blazing  car  of  democratic  fury, 
till  it  was  with  n  an  inch  of  burning  us  all  up 
to  cinders,  has  aflumcd  the  gentle  gait  and  mo- 


his  brethren  of  the 
■  bedaubed  it  with 
las  taken  it  under 
he  reader  with  but 
ed,  of  this  gentle- 

the  fubjed  of  the 
France,  fince  the 
tion.  He  fays,  it 
ologize  for   tiU  the 

in  that  country  j 
ley  are,  it  will  be 
at  this  moment^  the 

greater  in  France 
thefe  are  his  very 
^nts  us  with"  an 
:  oi  great  merit  (to 
/,^  entitled,  "2"^^ 
rhis  rare  anecdote 
me  thoufand /even 
jman  was  Ijanged 
3f  linen.      Now, 
n  at  Tyburn,   in 
human  happinefs 
and  how  the  re- 
happinefs  in  the 

addition  to  the 
ranee,  is,  I  pre- 
{ thofe,  and  thofe 

in  the  arcanum 

ures  on  the  rea- 
:  naiF.e  of  Aurora. 
z  a  feconcl  Phae- 
democratic  fury, 
jrnino;  us  all  up 
tie  gait  and  mo- 


V 


(    9    ) 

deflveilof  the  Goddcfs   of  the  morning::   'A 
iicht  chip  of  the  Old  Block  ;  "  ^^poor  Richard 
lavs.     Some  think,  that,  having  fcen  the  bun  ol 
all  his  hopes  and  expeaations  let,  in  the  'ivcjt, 
he   thou-rht  it  was  high  time  to  rile  upon   us 
from  the  ^.7/.     But,  this  is  not  the  rcafon  ;  the 
thing  is  an   imitation  of  a  French  Paper    con- 
dufted  bv  "  Le  vcri'.able  pere  du  chien,     ^^  ami 
bearing  the  motto, "  Bougrcment  Palnotic.       It 
is  fomethinfT  wonderful  that  the  Jtirora  has  not 
iidopted  a  motto  fo  charaaeriftic  of  the  matter 
it  contains:  but,  to  make  ufe  of  a  well  known 
democratic  quotation,  "nemo  repente  tuit  tur- 
piffimus."  t  Though,  perhaps,  the  Aurora,  and 
fome  other  prints,  may  boaft  of  bemg  an  excep. 
tion  to  this  maxim,  yet  it  may  ferve  as  a  fealoa- 
able  hint  to  their  readers. 

Never  mind,  reader ;   I  know  what  I  am  a- 
bout.     I  have  fet  my  foot  among  a  nelt   of  vv- 
pers  here  ;  but  the  poor  devils  do  not  know 
how  to  lling.     Let  them  writhe  and  hi!s,  while 
we  return  to  Th'?  Pcliiical  Prcgrej}  of  Britain.  ^ 
Taking  it  for  gianted,  that  the  Author  is  nei- 
ther more  nor  lefs  than  the  "  forlorn  hope"  ot 
the  phalanx  bv  whom  he  is  encouraged,!  do  not 
look  upon  mylelf  as  bound  to  obferve  the  laws 
of  neutrality  towards  them,  any  more  than  to- 
wards him;  and  therefore  I  (hail  make  very  free 
with   them,  whenever  they  may  fall  in  my  way. 
Nor    will  the   title  of  gemknien,  which  he  has, 
and  very  uncitixen  like  too,  bellowed  on  them, 
withoUl  my  hand;  we  know  that  hawkers  and 

*    Iflam  not  midaken  "m   the  Frcnih,  this  means,  TiJ^ 

nalja'.hsr  oj  iji  iio^." 

'  '    -V    No  one  ever  l.ccr.me  infaiViO.iS   all  at  cn-.e. 


■  M'sAS^^mi^'^' 


K^"',/'''"^''''^'V^'«'^^'^y'^^«  and  plckpot- 
kets,  call  one  another  gentlemen;  and  that  even 
the  members  of  every  felf-created  back-do^ 
club  except  in  their  fJlminations  ..  officio,  tke 
the  fame  title;  but  does  this  prevent  any  body 
f  om  thmkmg  and  fpeaking  of  them  as  tLy  de- 
ferve?  Certamly  not.  They  claim  the  liberty 
of  the  prcfs  ,n  the  evomition  of  their  anarchical 
po:fon  and  ijall  not  others  claim  the  famelibe  ! 
ty  in  adminiftering  the  antidote  ? 

What  then  is  this  bleffed  performance  ?  what 
does  It  contam    that  fuch  uncommon,  futhun 

SnTp  m'"^^"'^.^"^^^^  ^°dr^git  into 
day  I  Why,  I  he  Political  Progrefs,  or  Sawnev's 
C,^^W  (lor  this  title  would^^come  it  much 
better  than  the  one  it  has  affumed),  *  paints  in 
as  odious  a  light  as  black  and  white  wfll  admit 
of,    hole  kings  of  Lngland  who  have  inflifted  fe- 

celebrated  Wh.gs  of  the  United  Kingdoms,  and, 

caufe  of  the  Pretender ;  it  contains  the  mod  fo- 
phrft.cal  and  ill  digeftcd  account  of  the  nationah 
debt,  the  wars,  taxes,  and  expences  of  goyern- 

IS-Z:  u"''^  '"g-^-'u-r^l.      1  iicy  are  a  nation  \  re- 

Scvern.r^"'*'''"'    "''^''^^"'^  '^^^"-     P"*-    prudence. 

virtues    iUolrJtt     y' '"y^l'/'  '>y  ""  "'cans  the  leaft  of  . 
Ih^^r  n  •     u  ^  "^y  °^  *^''  "«''°»  «'•«  f^r  niore  loyal  than 

12  4 1  ''"/''' ''°''''  ^''^  ^•"'■n^  f'^  it-     They  were  in  fa.'t 

XhfS  ''t??:^:  ^'^'^"'.  ^^'^^'  -^  ther'efore  't"ht; 

"•  a  Sa  f  '  "f""  '^'^^'"g^««.d  candidly  my  adn^ration 


•c  jm.^rT3W 


nen  and  pickpoc- 
nen;  and  that  even 
:reated  back-door 
ions  ex  officio^  take 
prevent  any  body 
f  them  as  they  de- 
claim the  liberty 
)f  their  anarchical 
lim  the  fameiibef- 
te? 

rformance?  what 
ommon,  fuChun- 
e  to  drag  it  into 
%refs^  or  Sawney's 

become  it  much 
ned),  *  paints  in 

white  will  admit 
)  have  inflifted  fe- 
ufes  all  the  moft 
d  Kingdoms,  and, 
as  oppofed  to  the 
tains  the  mod  fo- 
nt of  the  nationah 
fences  of  goyern- 

ne  for  a  moment,  that 
iicy  are  a  nation  1  re- 
■vn.  For  prudence, 
learning,  tlicy  are  a- 
no  means  the  leaft  of  . 
•e  far  more  loyal  than 
fs  the  American  War  : 
They  were,  in  faft, 
id  therefore  to  them 
hefe  States.  But  the 
?r  jiiftify  the  apoilacy 
^didly  my  admiration 
I'cd  to  exprefs  as  can- 


ment  in  Great  Britain,  that  hns  ever  yet  appear- 
ed; in  {hort,  the  piece  altogether,  forms  one  of 
the  moft  complete  Whiflty-boyBillingfgatelibels, 
or,  as  Mr.  Jtffcrfon  emphatically  cxprefled  it, 
"  the  moft  aftonilhing  concentration  of  abufe," 
that  ever  was  feen,  or  heard  of. 

Yes,  reader,  look  at  it   again,  and  tell   me 
what  you  can  find  here,  that  can  merit  the  atten- 
tion of  an  American.     If  you  want  to  know  the 
characters  of  the  kings  of  England,  you  will  find 
them  recorded  in  hiftory  j  you  will  there  find 
the  good  with  the  bad  :  you  will  find,  that  they 
have  all  had  their  faults,  and  moft  of  them  their 
virtues  :  if  youfind  thatfome  of  them  werewolves,  - 
you  will  never  find  that  their  fubje<as  or  their 
neighbours  were  lambs.     From  the  fame  fource 
you  will  learn,  that,  ever  fince  the  abdication 
of  James  II.  the  embers  ofdifcontent  have  been 
kept  alive  in  Scotland,  by  the  means  of  ambiti- 
ous demagogues  :  you  will  find  that  their  influ- 
ence is  daily  decreafing,  but  that,  like  the  Anti- 
federalifts  in  America,  they  feize  every  oppor- 
tunity to  exert  it,  in  reviling  the  government, 
reprefenting  every  tax  as  anopprcfiion,  and  ex- 
citing the  ignorant  to  infurreftion.  *     You  will 

*  I  wifli  we  could  fay,  that  a  change  of  air  hnd  produced 
a  change  of  condad  in  fome  of  them.  The  comrades  of 
Muir  and  Palmer  were  no  fooncr  landed  at  New  York  laft 
year,  than  they  began  to  pick  a  hols  in  the  coat  of  the 
jdm:rican  Governmvt.t.  They  openly  declared,  that  it  was 
*'  tarnifhedbythslaftandtvorjldif'.rrirce  ofafreegKK'rrinunt"  ; 
and  faid,  that  they  looked  forward  to  "  a  more  pj'-fifl 
"  jiatc  of  Socetf  "  (See  their  addrcls  to  the  Vn'-tpriau  Doc- 
tor.) I  do  not  fay  that  they  had  any  immediate  hand  in  the 
■weftem  affair  ;  but  when  rebels  from  all  quarters  of  the 
world  are  received  with  open  anns,  as  perlecuted  patriots, 
it  is  no  wonder  that  rebellion  Ihould  be  looked  upon  as 
patriotifm. 


;,    i 


i     I 


M' 


5*:v 


(       VI      ) 

obferve   (:inJ  undoubtedly  with  a  great  dcnl  df 
ple;ifurc),  that  exertions  of  fuch  a  honiil  tenden- 
cy have  not,  latterly,  had  the  fatneeffeds  there, 
that  tliey  have  lierc  ;  but  you  mull:  neverthelefs 
agree,  that  it  was  as  prudent  and  as  jullifialile  in 
the  jj-overjuncnt  ot  (ircat    Britain,  to  prnfecute 
thole  v.'ho  were  endeavouring  to  kindle  the  tlames 
of  civil  war  in  Scotland,  as  it  is  in  the  govern- 
ment ot  the  United  States  to  profecute  the  men, 
who,  lor  a  fiuiilar  crinie,  arc  now  in  Philadel- 
phia jail,  waiting  their  trials.     As  to    the  taxes 
in  Great  Britain,  they  are  heavy,  and  I  believe 
in  my  loul  it  is  in  their  very  nature  to  be  heavy, 
as  u}uch  as  it  is  in  the  nature  of  lead  ;  for,  the 
people  complain  of  their  weight  not  only  there, 
but  htre,  and  every  where  elle.     You  will,  per- 
haps, like  many  other  compaflionatc  people,  feel 
a  good  deal  of  anxiety  about  the  national  debt  cyf" 
Great  Britain,  and  may  podibly  have  your  fears 
of  a  pvneral  bankruptcy  :  but,  fuffer  me  to  cauti- 
on vouagv'n^t  anexcefs  offenfibility  ;  for,  though 
companion  is,  in  itfeU,  amiable,  it  degenerates 
into  weaknefd,  when  laviflied  on  an  unvvorthv 
objett :    nay,  it  even   looks  meddling,  if  no-t 
childifii,  to  be  eternally  exprelHng  a  folicitude 
for  people  who  do  not  feem  at  all  fenfible  of  your 
kindnci's.     Only   look  at   the   condud   of  the 
JiJerchunts,  for  exr?.mple,  towards  Mr.  Dayton : 
we  have  not  heard,  that  they  have  exprciled  the 
lead  gratitude  to  that  honelt  gentleman  for  .his 
kind  motion  for  putting  afide  about  four  or  five- 
millions   of  their  dollars,  in  a  fafe  corner,  to 
prcferve  them  from  the  Hanover  Rats  and  the 
licrambling  clutches  of  Billy  Pit  !  If  I   were  in 
the  place  of  the  honourable  Member  from  New 
J^rfey,  I  think  ii  would  be  a  leifon  to  me  never 


h* 


( 


>3 


) 


I  great  (Icnl  cif 
honitl  tcnden- 
le  effeds  there, 
id  nevertheless 
as  ju(lifial)le  in 
1,  to  prnfeciite 
mile  the  flames 
n  the  govern- 
icute  the  men, 
w  in  Philadel- 
s  to  the  taxes 
,  and  I  believe 
re  to  be  heavy, 
lead  ;  for,  the 
not  only  there. 
You  will,  per- 
ate  people,  feel 
national  debt  cfH 
have  your  fears 
'er  me  to  cauti- 
tv  ;  for,thou<>;h 

it  degenerates 
1  an  unvvorthv 
iddlinj^,  if  not 
ng  a  folicitude 
fenfible  of  your 
:ondud  of  the 
s  Mr.  Dayton: 
IS  exprciled  the 
itleman  for.hiu 
out  four  or  fivi: 

fafe  corner,  to 
r  Rats  and  the 
1  If  I  were  in 
nber  from  New 
on  to  me  never 


lo  mcddlcwlihthcirafT-virs  again.  Such  a  pcrv'crlc 
ftiff-nccked  race  oiiirht  to  be  lett  to  theiv  tate. 
All  we  have  to  do,is,to  take  car.:  that  they  do  not 
KCt  intomir  debt,  andthen  let  them  break  as  foon 
as  they  will.  Humanity  requires  that  we  Ihould 
pity  our  dillreiTcd  fellow  creatures,  but  it  does 
not  oblige  us  toexpofc  ourfelvestothcir  contempt. 

In  defence  of  the  condutt  of  the  gcni/eim  en- 
rouraYcrs  oiTbe  PoUlical  Prognfs   of  Dntain.M 
has  been  roundly  averted,  that  there  ex  ills  a  Mo- 
narchy Party  in  the  United  States,  and  that  eve- 
ry  thing  tending  io  render  it  odious  is  necefiary 
and  laudable  ;  and  that,  conlequcntly,    it   was 
no  more  than  fair  play  to  borrow,  or  hire,  the 
pen  of  a  needy  foreigner  to  lampoon  the  rn^wxa- 
ment  and  conltitution  of  his  own  country.     But, 
whoever  will  give  thcmfelves  the  trouble  to  o- 
pen  their  eyes,  or  make  ufe  of  a  very  little  re- 
colleaion,  will  be  convinced,  I  fancy,  that  there 
is  no  realon  for  alarm  on  this  account. 

Our  democrats  are  continually  crying  (hame 
on  the  fattelites  of  Royalty,  for  carrying  on  a 
Crufade  againft  Liberty ;  when  the  faft  is, 
the  fatteUtes  of  Liberty  *  are  carrying  on  a  Cru- 
fade againa  Royalty.  Ifone  could  recollect  all 
their  valorous  deeds,  on  this  fide  the  water, 
f.nce  the  beginning  of  1793,  they  would  make 
ahillory  lar  furpalling   that  of  Tom    Ihumb  or 


*  Takecar^reatler  hoNvyo',1  co'ifound  tcrnTi  here.  /J- 
heriu  acconling  to  the  l^.cmociatk  Dictionavy,  do?s  nat 
mz^nrrccd>mfr<,mop;>nf>.n;  it  r,  a  very  coniprchenfive 
/crm,  fipnifyin^.  among  other  things;,  jTivp,  rov:Kn, 
muvd-r,  fnd  bu,l}hcmu     Citi/xn    DavKl,    psniter  to  the 

r 


muvd-r,  -.nd  bul}h:,nu  Citi/xn  DavKl,  ps.nter  to  the 
Propacmf^'-,  has  rcnroftntecl /..7)W»  under  tae  fonn  of  a 
DrL,:  ;  it  i^.  I  fjppofft,  fur  this  rcafoii  that  o-.ir  acmoerats 
cry  out  nirainl  Squint  George  as  "   the  mo(^  dangrrour,  ol 


Irtbenicides  " 


•  I  -  iirr'  r'.iTil'lli1""-  \^'}^\.'^'^'l^"'S't 


ii.UiXnJtil^gAii^l^flJf 


^'^:£^~^~-'i 


A 


.-V 


U] 


I ; 


i! 


(     14    ) 

Jack  the  Giant -Killer.  The  Aurora,  and  two  o 
three  other  prints  ot  that  (lamp,  have  lervcd 
them  by  way  of  J3ackers  on  :  tliey  have  been, 
and  are  yet,  the  Saint  Bernards  and  Peter  the 
Hermits  of  the  Cnifade. 

When  they  found  the  government  was  not  to 
be  bullied  into  a  war,  they  were  upon  the  point 
of  declaring  it  themfelves  againft  the  coalefced 
Monarchs,  fo  well  known  for  their  depredations 
on  the  purfes  of  all  Chriftendom,  and  againft 
that  old  ruffian  Harry  the  Eighth,  who  is  a  fort 
of  fef^er-on  of  the  whole  pack.  And  though  this 
refol  e  was  not  put  into  execution,  out  of  refpeft 
for  the  inviolable  and  facred  perfon  of  his  Majefly 
of  Clubs,  they  immediately  "  let  flip  the  dogs 
"  of  war  "  at  every  thing  elle  that  bore  the  name 
or  marks  of  Royalty. 

Their  firfl  objeft  of  attack  was  the  Stage.  E- 
very  Royal  or  Noble  charaftcr  was  to  be  driven, 
into  cvcvlalting  exile,  or,  at  Icalt,  none  fuch 
was  ever  to  be  introduced  except  by  way  of  de- 
gradation. The  words  your  Majefly,  My  Lord, 
and  the  like,  were  held  to  be  as  otfenfive  to  the 
chafte  ears  of  Republicans,  as  fdks,  gold  lace, 
painted  checks  and  pov/dered  periwigs  to  their 
eyes.  In  (hort,  the  higheft  and  lowed  titles  were 
to  be  citizen  and  ciiefs,  and  the  dreffes  were  all 
to  be  a  la  mode  dc  Paris. 

That  the  Theatre  might  not  fuffer  for  want 
of  pieces  adapted  to  the  reformed  talle,  the  re-  / 
formers  had  the  goodnefs  to  propofc  William 
Tell  and  feveral  others  equally  amufmg. — 
William  was  to  be  modernized  :  in  place 
of  (hooting  the  Governor  with  a  bow  and  ar- 
row, he  was  to  fab  himin  the  guts  withadag- 
ger,cut  off  hishead,  and  carry  it  lound  the  Stage 


T 


.U 


( 


»5 


) 


>rerfl^  and  two  o 
ip,  have  I'trvcd 
icy  have  been, 
Is  and  Peter  the 

fnent  was  not  to 
:  upon  the  point 
it  the  coalefced 
eir  depredations 
in,  and  againft 
;h,  who  is  a  fort 
And  though  this 
n,  out  of  refpeft 
an  of  his  Majcfly 
et  flip  the  dogs 
It  bore  the  name 

5  the  Stage.  E- 
was  to  be  driven 
call,  none  fuch 
>t  by  way  of  de- 
ijcfly,  My  Lord, 
otfenfive  to  the 
fiiks,  gold  lace, 
eriwigs  to  their 
oweft  titles  were 
drefles  were  all 

t  fufFer  for  want 
ed  tafle,  the  re- 
propofe  Willia7n 
cdly  amufing. — 
zed  :  in  place 
a  bow  and  ar- 
guts  with  a  dag- 
lound  the  Stage 


upon  n  vkc,   Mc.  the  tuuHc   wac  to  play  the    . 

Mudccr's  Hymn  and  Ua,  f !'"!., ,  ,Yc  gentle 
It  is  hardly  mxclVary  to  ny,  '^^•^'^  ^^'f  f ,  ^'^ 
„.en  and  laics  onhcln.^n;^^^^ 

taken  fc-r  .uotto,  hv<i[   ^^^Z"  '(    \.  (j      x,  .vas 
,leif  ear  to  all  nnovatioi»s  oi  ihis  kinu.         j 
':  ea?y  matter  ,o  p.rfu.uk.  .'^f'^  '^'.^^ 

turn  k'^""f -"7/' f"  er"  cprer.tit  tc  thcm,that 
^r^A  tlvir  their  van  ty  was  Iikc  that   ot  tnc  -ai* 

«a  -iri'tn  •  y\Fter  haviiis  IruttetiiO  1011;,  m 
naces  were  vain  .  Atter  uav    ^.          rinncl  d  a- 
farbelowed  brocades    and    White   Chape    Qia 
monds,  they  felt  themfclVcs  by  no  means  d.fpof- 
Tto  go  iVmkiug  about  the  icenein  an  a • 

'^"Some  people  may  think,  that  this  is  allinver.- 

tionburif^hey  think  it  worth  while  to   Iook 

"er' .        GazJttes  1  have   mentioned  above 

they  will  find  that  the  merit  of  u  does  not   fad 

^"To^m"k;the  reade/  amends  for  m///.». 
rill  I  an.  going  treat  him  with  a  delicate  mor- 
Sindeed  ^and,^  which  adds  to  its  merit,  it  :s 
not  hf eve  y  body's  hands,  the  publication,  f  om 
JihicS  I  have  cx\raaed  it,  being,  thank  God. 
but  very  little  known. 

,  Thcie.  I  am  told,  are  "ballOJc.!  v-or-V,  uf^anja^.g 
virtue :  It  was  my  i^ienluM.  u,  j^ivc   he  re.  c.  ^^^^ 

ry  cxplaiftf.on  of  then,,  b"t.  tho.^.l  .1  l--"^',^^    j  j^^,^ 
•       the  mU  renowned  C.buHlh  f -"J^.    "«;  \^  ",^  ,;;'n^      ,.« 
n,n  been  ubl.  to  procure  it.     ^on,e  .y.  t.,nt  rq  c^  ^ 

about  nine  hundred  times  every  "^^^^Jjy^"*  ^^i,ers\v, 

ti;-y  have  no  virtue  at  all ;  and  th.a  the ,  mca 
nor  lelslhun Huiz- hr  the  jhon^eji ! 


r 

1^ 


1 


■  I 


«< 

(( 


(    iG    ) 

"  PIIlLADi:f,IMIIA.  .      , 

'*  A  new  Sonjr  calif d  liic  GiiilHotinc,  Sun;» 
nt  the  celebration  of  ihc/e/// /A  0/ yii/y,  hy  a 
miini.er  of  French  and  ^mnamd{y/x'm  at 
llumburg.  Written  by  the  celcl)rated  Mr. 
Parloiv,  who  was  then  at  thai  place. 

'«  GoHCivc  tiipGniinotinr. 
"   'lill  Eiij*lttu,i\  KiKv  an«l  .V//rc/;, 
''  i;cr  power  iliull  prove  : 

'*  'Till  cncli  anointed  knob 
•'  Affords  a  clippln};  jol., 
•*   I.ct  no  \\\k  lialtf  r  rob, 
"  'i  he  Giiilliotine, 

"  Fatrc,  let  thy  trumpet  rojnd 
"  Tell  all  the  world  around,     ' 

'«  llo\v6W/>i/  feil:  7-. 

'*■  /Ind  Wilfn prcnt  Ceome's  poll 
"  Miallitifhehaflcct  roll', 
"  l.et  meriy  thcH  ronlroul 
"  TlicGuilllptinc, 

"  \yhcr\  all \\\e: n-'ptrrd onu 
"  Have  paid  tilt  IrJuwi;;?,  due 
"  The  Guilliotinr, 

"  T.ct  fr?cdnni'sfln;r  advance, 
"  'Till  nil  theworld  like  France, 
"  O'er  tjrants  jrr.vrs  Ihall  dance 
"  AvA  jiiacc-  begin  ". 

■\yith  icfpca  to  this  tender  madrigal,  wcar^j 
aiorswhich  to  admire  mod  ;  the  llyle  andfen- 
tunentsof  tiic  "  celebrated  Author,  "  *  the  de- 


nt 


ther 


rt  would  be  vortli  the  reader's  while  to  enquire 
rnis  c-i,ln-aud  yA"/>?r  hns  never  emplnvrd  hln  r 


we~. 

poetic 


tairm  1,1  ,n,ikiRjT  en  addition  X.>  Poaor  V/aits's  verfion  of 
tae  I  Irflms  \ ^  Jfilils  CkmUI  appear  to  l)e  tliccafcitinii'l  be 
Kliowed  Jie  IS  in  3  fair  way  to  btconic  a  unlve;fal  penius^ 
ana  an  honor  to  Jiis  couulry. 


--i-»!«Mt*„'l; 


MIIA. 


Sunj* 


Guilliofinc, 
lOth  ofjith^  hy  a 
Uiurican  cit'izcii:;  at 
liti  celebrated  Mr. 
liiii  place. 


■UVC  ! 


ikI^ 


!o!l 


lllc 


ncp, 
liince 


madrigal,  wears 
;  theltyle  sndfen- 
jthor,  "  *  the  de- 


while  to  enquire  wc 
r  cniplovrd  hin  poetic 
or  V/jiits's  vcrfioti  of 
)  he  tlicrafcitmii'l  be 
;nc  a  unlvc;fal  genius,, 


(       n       ) 

Vicacyof  the  Kditor,  or  the   ifte  of  his  rciuk-rs,  ■ 
I  lay  his    I'.MJcra,  for  I  fhoiild  be  lorry  to  think 
it  \v,is  the  r.ifti;  of  th.;   inhnbitants,  in    general, 
of  IMiihulilphia.     H(nvcM.r,  I  tliiiik  the  reader 
will  agree  with  me,  that,  at  a  time\yhen  lueh  a 
piece  aj  thin  could   poflibly  be  admitted  into  :i 
public  print,   there   could  be    no  iieeeinty  for 
n  publication  of  Su-ivnc/s  Cunphiiiit :  to  briiii;;  ic 
out  ufter  fiicli  u  tit  bit 'as  this,  was  as  bad  as  fer- 
vinjT  up  a  mils  f.f  burgoo  after acramberry  tart. 
That  there  ihould  be  found  amonj^Jt   us  men 
fo  vindictive  as  to  prny  for  the  murder  of  the 
kin(r  :ind  (^it>en  of  Eii^land,  people  who   had 
nfteiided  ur^is  not  lo  very  aftonifliin,;' ;  unlortu- 
nately  there  are  men  of  that  Ihmp  in  all  coun- 
tries, andconfequently,  we  muft  expcft  to  find 
fome  of  that  defcription  amongft  thofo  who  live 
by  entertainin;j;. the  public  :  it  is  not   therefore 
more  wonderful   that  fuch  a  fentiment   Ihould 
find  its  way  into  a  Newfpaper  than  that  ir  (hould 
be  conceived.     I'ut  that  there  ftiould  be  found  a 
7iumber  of  Amcr:cans,ov  even  one  capable  of  rejoic- 
ing   and  hmi^'hint^  at  the  tragic  fall  of  the  unfor-. 
tunate  Louis' XVI,  is  a  faftof  fuch  a  horrid  na- 
ture,that  we  wiiti  not  tobelieve  our  eyes  and  ears. 
Who  is  not  fenfible  of  the  etlbrts,  the  mi^^^hty, 
the  fuccefsful  etforts,  made  by  that  Monarch  in 
favour  of  thefe  States  ?    Who  is  not  fenfible,  thac 
to  thole  efforts  America  owes  her  Independence  ? 
Every  one  is   fenfible  of  it  ;    and  it  is  for  this 
r^'afoii,  that   all  parties  join  in  celebrating  the 
6th.  ofFebruary,  the  anuiverfary  of  the  conclu- 
fion  of  the  treaty  of  Alliance  between  Louis  XVI 
and   the   United   States."     Recoiled,   reader. 


*  I  fav  Louis  jnd  the  United  States^  for  it  v/us  /;:'j  a:;C  -je 


""■g-'"j"%uAii;  isaijy" 


mffilHlmv 


^„„,  iVilliUltli; 


»i>l..ll.l I 


(     .8    ) 

that  the  fong  above  quoted,  was  fung  on  the 
fourth  of  July  ;  on  the  Anniverfary  of  that  Inde- 
pendence we  boai't  of  as  a  fovereign  good.  Re- 
f:olleft  that  a  number  of  Americans,  aflembled 
to  rejoice  on  Account  of  this  bleffing,caHed  to  the 
univerfe,  at  the  fiime  time  to  witnefs  their  joy 
at  the  murder  of  him  who  conferred  it  !  This 
was  all  that  was  wanted  to  the  humiliation  of 
thehoufe  of  Bourbon  and  to  the  revenge  of  its 
Rival.  Poor  Louis  might  delerve  fomething  of 
this  kind  in  the  Eyes  of  EngliHimen  ;  by  them 
he  might  expecl  his  memory  would  be  execrated: 
could  he  now  look  from  the  grave,  what  would 
be  his  aftonifhment  to  fee  them  among  the  firll 
to  defend  it,  and  fome  of  us  among  the  firft,  a- 
moT>g  the  very  rtrll:,  to  tear  it  to  pieces  ?  Could 
this  innocent,  this  virtuous,  this  injured  Prince, 
now  behold  the  ungrateful  HjlUhounds,  that, 
from  all  quarters  of  the  world,  ailall  his  reputa- 
tion, would  he  not  exclaim,  like  Caefar  when 

he  faw  the  dagger  of  his  beloved  Brutus, 

and  you  too  Americans  ? 

Let  us  leave  thefe  Bacchanalians,  whofe  beve- 
rage is  the  blood  of  their  benefadors,  and  return 
to  our  Crufaders ;  though  I  am  afraid  we  (hall 
gain  but  little  by  the  change. 


alone.  There  were  noFayettes  no  Robefjjien'cs,  no  Barreres 
inthofediiys:  the  king  was  abfolutc,  and  to  him  was  the 
allianceowing,ancl  to  nobody  elfe.  He  was  then  as  much, and 
more  an  ahfoluteMonareh  thanhc  was  at  the  beginning  of  the 
French  Revolution  ;  yet  none  of  us  ever  dreamed  of  calling 
\a\mvi  ill  [pot,  Tityrant,  "  ^n  ennined  viuriHer."  Tlie  Con- 
grcfs,  the  very  Congrefs  that  declared  us  independent,  de- 
clared him  to  be  owr  s,^ eat  and  'inoi  ally,  our  delivirtr  ;  and 
not  a  word  about  dfpnt'ifm.  Whence  comes  all  the^e  appro- 
brions  tonus  now  ?  From  the  ungrateful  hearts  of  thole 
■wlio  make  ufe  of  them.  ••. 


) 

ed,  was  fung  on  the 
niverfary  of  that  Inde- 
fovereign  good.  Re- 
Americans,  aflembled 
s  bleffingjCaHed  to  the 
2  to  witnefs  their  joy 
conferred  it  !  This 
to  the  humiliation  of 
to  the  revenge  of  its 
:  deferve  fomething  of 
ngliHimen  ;  by  them 
y  would  be  execrated: 
lie  grave,  what  would 
them  among  the  firlt 
us  among  the  firft,  a- 
r  it  to  pieces  ?  Could 
s,  tliis  injured  Prince, 
il  Hjll-hounds,  that, 
orld,  ail'ail  his  reputa- 
lim,  like  Caefar  when 
>eloved  Brutus, 

lanalians,  whofe  beve- 
snefadorsj  and  return 
^  I  am  afraid  we  (hall 
igc.    . 

o  Robefjjjen'es,  no  Barreres 
ilutc,  and  to  him  was  the 
e.  He  was  then  as  much, and 
:  was  at  the  beginning  of  the 
'us  ever  dreamed  ofcaliing 
ined  viofijhr."  Tlie  Con- 
;clared  us  independent,  de- 
ro/ ally,  our  (/<?//Wr«/-;  and 
hence  comes  all  the^e  appro- 
ungrateful  hearts  of  thole 


(   19  ) 

Their  next  attack  was  on  all  piftures,  carved 
work,  and  ftucco  work.  At  the  diftance  of  i 
few  miles  from  the  Metropolis,  a  Tavern-Keeper, 
who,  about  a  dozen  years  ago,  hoifted  the  ^eert 
of  France,  to  attract  cuftom  to  his  houfe,  found 
it  neceffary  laft  fummer,  to  fever  her  head  front 
her  body,  and  fet  the  blood  a  dreaming  down 
her  garments.  * 

Who  can  have  forgotten  the  card,  fent  to  the 
Clergy  and  Vellry  of  Chrift  Church  ?  This  card 
beggedi  or  rather  demanded,  of  the  perfons  to 
whom  it  was  addrefled,  to  remove  the  image 
and  crown  of  George  II.  and  to  be  as  quick  as 
poffible  in  doing  it,  for  fear  it  fliould  endanger 
the  falvation  of  the  citizens  j  "  for,  "  fays  the 
card,  "  that  mark  of  infamy  has  a  tendency  to 
*'  keep  many  young  and  virtuous  men  from  at- 
"  tending  public  worfliip  ". 

For  my  part,  I  look  upon  the  deftruftion  of 
this  image  and  Crown  as  an  event,  of  about  a* 
much  confequence  to  the  citizens  of  Philadelphia 
as  the  deftruftion  of  the  Swifs,f  at  the  door  of  their 
Library,  would  be.  The  church  is  full  as  well 
without  it  as  with  it.     I  have  frequented  Chrift 

*  The  reader  will  nndoubtedly  feel  a  confiderable  relief, 
when  he  hears  that  this  complaifant  creature  was  a  foiriot'ta 
Englifliman  :  but  who  were  his  cuftomers  ? 

t  This  image  has  obtained  the  name  of  the  Sivifs  for  two 
reafons :  Fir^.,  becaufe  the  citizens  of  Switzerland  are  gen-' 
erally  employed  by  other  nations  in  the  capacity  oi Porters ; 
and,  fecondly,  becaufe  their  motto  is,  "  Point  d'ar^ent,, 
point  de  Swifs  ;"  in  Knglifh,  "  No  pay,  110  Swifs."  ^  I  leave, 
th?  reader  to  determine  whether  the  name  be  applicable  or, 
not  to  the  image  in  queftion. 

D  -  .  .      * 


t<ih-^^^'pm&mMmm- 


'jMtJfli,     ^.~'.)5!S^.g'?S'^■-  i>^Jiis^bii.,^-'ii*^MXvX,1!j^' 


I^~^ 


r. 


t      1| 


f 


JM 


HI  i 


'■  T.f 


mmmm' 


(  20  ) 

Church  for  near  about  thirty  years,  without  e- 
ver  obferving  that  fuch  a  thing  was  on  the  walls 
of  it;  nor  did  lever  imagine  ihat  myfalvatton 
could  be  endangered  hy  the  form  of  a  lump  of  ftuc- 
co.  !n  this  affair,  one  would  have  wifhed  on- 
ly, for  the  fake  of  thofe  who  made  the  requeft, 
that  it  had  not  been  made  at  fo  unfortunate  a 
junfkure.  It  was  almofl:  literally  biting  off  the 
nofe  to  be  revenged  on  the  face.  George  II.  who 
died,  God  reft  his  foul,  in  1760,  could  not  help 
l^ir  Charles  Gray's  taking  the  French  Iflands, 
Colonel  Bathwait's  t?iking  Pondicherry,  Lord 
Hood's  taking  Corfica,  and  burning  the  ^rfenals 
and  Fleet  at  Toulon,  nor  Lord  Howe's  unmer-P 
ciful  inhuman  baftinado  of  the  Carmagnole  Fleet 
offUfliant,  all  which  happened  in  1794;  yet, 
I  believe,  nobody  doubted,  that,  if  nothing  of 
this  kind  had  taken  place,  the  "  young  and -vir- 
tuous men"  would  have  felt  no  qualms  of  confci- 
ence  on  account  of  the  image  and  crown.  If  the 
poor  image  could  have  fpoken,  it  certainly  would 
have  rernonftrated  againft  fuch  an  adt  of  manifeft 
injuftice ;  an  a£t  tranfgrefiing  all  laws  both  hu- 
man and  divine.  For,  I  believe  it  is  a  princi- 
cipal  eftabliftied  inlaw,  that  thirty  years,  if  not 
lef&,  of  uniiirerrupted  pofleflion  conftitutes  a 
right ;  and,  though  we  have  heard  of  the  fins 
of  the  fathers  being  vifited  upon  the  children,  it 
was  left  for  thefe  "  young  and  virtuous  men  "  to 
find  out  the  juftice  of  vifiting  the  fms  of  the 
children  upon  the  fathers. 

Of  a  piece  Avith  this  heroic  aflion  was  that 
of  the  Democrats,  oi  Char/e/icwn,  South  Caroli- 
na, when  they  precipitated  the  ftatue  ot  the  late 
Lord  Chatham  from  its  pedeftal,  and  bragged  in 
the  gazettes  of  having  fevered  the  head  from  the 


y  years,  without  e- 

ng  was  on  the  walls 

le  ihat  my  falvation 

m  of  a  lump  of(luc<' 

aid  have  wifhed  on- 

o  made  the  requeil. 

It  fo  unfortunate  a 

rally  biting  off  the 

:e.     George  II.  who 

760,  could  not  help 

the  French  Iflands, 

Pondicherry,  Lord 

turning  the  ^rfenals 

)rd  Howe's  unmer*^ 

le  Carmagnole  Fleet 

sned  in   1794;  yet, 

that,  if  nothing  of 

he  "  young  and-uir- 

no  qualms  of  confci- 

;  and  crown.     If  the 

n,  it  certainly  would 

ch  an  a£t  of  manifeft 

nor  all  laws  both  hu- 
.p      .     .  .     . 

heve  It  IS  a  prmci- 

:  thirty  years,  if  not 

eflion   conftitutes  a 

,'e  heard  of  the  fins 

pon  the  children,  it 

md  virtuous  men  "  to 

ng  the  fms  of  the 

roic  a£lion  was  that 
ficwny  South  Caroli- 
the  ftatue  of  the  late 
eftal,  and  bragged  in 
:d  the  head  from  the 


I 


{  21  ) 

body.     If  one  were  to  afk  thefe  wifeacres,  what 
honor  or  profit  they  could  promife  themfelves  in 
this  triumph  over  a  piece  of  marble,  I  wonder 
what  would  be  their  anfwer.     It  was   not   the 
Englifli  that  placed  it  th^re  ;  it  was  themfelves. 
It  was  an  idol  they  had  raifedwiththeir  own  hands. 
Did  they  expeft  to  find  it,  like  the  man's  Wood- 
en God,  fluffed  with  gold  and  filver  ?  Had  this 
been  the  cafe,  and  had  their  expetlations  been 
well  founded,  the  profit  of  the  enterprife  might 
have  kept  them  in  countenance  ;  but,  as  it  was, 
their  fally  of  fans-culottifm  has  produced  them 
nothing  but  derifion ;  has  fixed  them  as  a  mark 
"  for  the  hand  of  fcorn  to  point  its  flow  and  mo- 
•>'  ving  finger  at."     People  compare  them  to  the 
child  who  fights  with  his  man  cf  clay,  and  calls 
out  to  his  playmates  to  admire  his  bravery.     No 
wonder  that  the  Jacobin   Club  at  Paris  fhould 
object  to  the  adoption  of  ninnies  like  thefe. 

I  will  not  fatigue  the  reader  with  any  more  of 
their  feats  of  modern  chivalry;  what  I  have  here 
related  will,  I  think,  be  fufficient  to  prove, that  the 
pifturesof  halfa  dozen  old  kings,  painted  with 
a  Caledonian  mop,  were  by  no  means  necelTary  to 
frighten  the  people  into  Democratic  Principles. 
I  now  come  to  an  epoch  of  American  fans-cu- 
lottifn?,  that  ought  not  to  be  forgotten  in  haftc. 
I  mean  the  beginning  of  the  Weftern  Rebellion. 
"When  the  back-door  Clubs   firfl:  received  the 
news,  they  put  a  Janus's  face  upon  the  matter  : 
they  pretended  not   to   approve,  altogether,  of 
the  hojiile  operations  of  their  *'  Weftern  Breth- 
"  ren  "  ;  but  at  the  fame  time  they  took  good 
care  to  declare,  that  they  would   nvver  ceafe  to 
tippofe  the  laiowhich  had  given  them  umbrage.  The 
.     .  D  2         .     . 


u*^ 


r  ri 


H 


r  f 


(       22       ) 

manoeuvres  that  were  employed  to  prevent  the 
Militia  of  Penfylvania  from  turning  out,  and  the 
farcafms  that  were  thrown  out  on  the  Jerfey  Mi» 
litia,  only  becaule  they  did  turn  out,  are  frefti 
in  every  one's  memory.  Who  can  have  forgot- 
ten the  ever-memorable  petition  that  was  prefen- 
ted  to  ihe'Houfe  of  Reprefentatives  of  the  State 
of  Pennfylvania,  on  the  6th.  of  September  laft  ? 
The  Legiilature  was  no  fooner  met,  for  the  fpe- 
cial  purpofe  of  enforcing  the  execution  of  one 
excil'e  law,  than  they  were  bcfought  to  aflift  in 
oppofing  the  execution  of  another  excife  law  ! 
The  petition  was  an  appeal  to  the  Legiflature, 
not  from  an  inferior,  but  from  a  fuperior  Legif- 
lature ;  and,  which  is  perhaps  the  moft  incon- 
gruous of  all  the  incongruities  that  ever  w^re 
heard  of,  at  the  head  of  the  appellants  was  the 
Prefident  of  one  branch  of  that  very  Legiflature 
from  which  they  were  appealing  !  !  Had  the 
Prefident  of  the  United  States  joined  Citizen  Ge- 
net in  his  appeal  to  the  people,  the  ftep  would 
not  have  been  more  ridiculous. 

No  body  can  doubt,  that  the  fcheme  of  the  De- 
mocrats was,  by  means  like  thefe,  to  deaden  the 
limbs  of  Government,  and  then  feize  the  reins 
themfelves.  But  fuccefs  was  dubious  j  they 
therefore  proceeded  with  caution.  Look  at, 
and  admire  their  condudt,  from  this  time,  *tiil 
they  faw  a  fufficient  force  ready  to  march  againft 
their  "  Wefterr*  Brethren :"  you  will  find  them 
lying  on  their  arms,  filent  and  ihug :  but  the 
inftant  fuch  a  force  appeared,  adieu  all  relation- 
Jh'ip :  the  poor  devils  were  in  a  moment  transfor- 
med from  '*  Weftern  Brethren  "  into  "  Infur- 
**  gents  ",  and  (Oh,  monftrous  transformation!) 
even  into  "  Royalifts  " !  If  this  be  the  way  they 


mmifmmmfm 


) 


iployed  to  prevent  t])c 
tn  turning  out,  and  the 
I  out  on  the  Jerfey  MU 
id  turn  out,  are  frefti 
Who  can  have  forgot- 
etition  that  was  prefen- 
sfentatives  of  the  State 
)th.  of  September  laft  ? 
Doner  met,  for  the  fpe- 
;  the  execution  of  one 
e  bcfought  to  aflift  in 
if  another  excife  law  ! 
;al  to  the  Legiflature, 
from  a  fuperior  Legif- 
srhaps  the  moft  incon- 
ruities  that  ever  were 
the  appellants  was  the 
Df  that  very  Legiflature 
ippealing  !  !  Had  the 
ates  joined  Citizen  Ge- 
people,  the  flep  would 
i!ous. 

It  the  fcheme  of  the  De- 
ke  thefe,  to  deaden  the 
id  then  feize  the  reins 
!  was  dubious  j  they 
h  caution.  Look  at, 
I,  from  this  time,  *tiil 
ready  to  march  againft 
n:"  you  will  find  them 
nt  and  ihug :  but  the 
ared,  adieu  all  relation- 
i  in  a  moment  transfor- 
lethren  "  into  "  Infur- 
iftrous  transformation!) 
If  this  be  the  way  they 


(     23     ) 

treat  their  own  flefh  and  blood,  what  have  flran- 
gers  to  expeft  at  their  hands  ? 

Let  ihis  be  a  warning  to  you,  all  you  under- 
ftrappers   of  Democratic  Clubs  :  leave  off  your 
bawling    and  your  toafting,  go  home  and  fell 
vour  fuz,ar  and   ^onx  fnujf\  and  leave  the  care 
of  "■'  Pojlerity"  to    other  heads ;  ior,  when  the 
hour  of  difcomfit   arrives,   your  Jack    Straws 
and  your  C.  Foxes  will  leave  you  in  the  lurch  ; 
when   you    get  your  carcafes  baftinadoed,  or, 
which  is  far  worfe,  penned  up  within  the  walls 
ofaiail,  they  will  feoff  at  you,  as  the  devil  ever 
doesatabaflled  fmrier.     This  is   an  article  ot 
their  creed.     Do  you  want  a  proof  of  it  ?  Look 
at  their  conduft  towards  their  venerable  tound- 
er    Citizen  Genet :  no  fooner  had  the  poor  ci- 
tizen made  his  politicial  exit,  than  they  began 
to  "dance  on  his  grave,"  as  their  brother  Bar- 
low did  on  that  of  Louis  XVL     However,  ah 
their  ungrateful  efforts,  all  their  unnatural  ma- 
lice has  not  been  able  to  injure  their  immortal 
Sire.    Though  baffled  and  perfecuted  on  tlus  (ide 
the  Styx,  helias  bribed  old  Charon  to  ferry  him 
over  into  the  Iflandof  Blifs,  where  he  may,  un- 
interrupted by  tormenting  Ariftocrats,    lip  the 
the  live  long  day,   and  the  live  long  night  too, 
at  the  lovely  ftream  flowing  from  the  pure  foun- 
tain of  the  pureft  democracy. 

But  to  return  ;  our  democrats  had  another 
view  in  aigmatizing  their  "weftern  brethren" 
for  Royalifts,  befides  that  of  difownmg  them. 
They  faw  a  good  opportunity  ot  throwing  the 
blame  on  the  (boulders  of  Great  Britain,  at  the 
fame  time  that  they  (hifted  it  from  their  own. 
Thus,  by  a  ftroke  of  addrefs  peculiar  to  them- 


m 


f"^' 


(      24      ) 

felvcs,  they  turned  misfortune  to  advantage :  thi« 
was  making  the  beft  of  a  bad  market  with  a  ven- 
geance !  Hence  all  the  grave  alarming  accounts 
of  people's  crying  out, "  King  George  for  ever  ;" 
and  of  billets  being  "  ftuck  upon  trees  with» 
*'  Britijh  freedom  will  never opprefs  you.'*  Billety 
ftuck  upon  trees !  Like  thofc  of  Orlando  an4 
Rofalind,  Ifuppofe. 

"  Until!  the  tree  /hall  quit  the  rind,  ' 

"  I'll  never  quit  my  Rofalind,  "  '     "   i- 

This  is  very  pretty  in  making  love,  but  it  U 
a  romantic  v/ay  of  carrying  on  Treafonand  Re- 
bellion, and  feems  to  agree  but  very  ill  with  the 
language  of  thofe  gentle  fwains  aflembled  at  Par- 
kinfon's  Ferry. 

I  mud  be  excufed  alfo,  if  I  do  not  give  full 
credit  to  what  the  Governor  ofPennfylvania  aC 
iiertcd  on  this  fubjed,  when  he  was  harranguing 
the  militia  officers  to  perfuade  them  to  aflemblc 
their  quotas,  for  the  purpofe  of  marching  againft 
the  "  Weftern  Brethren."  «'Liften,"  faldhe, 
"  to  the  language  of  the  Jnfurgents^  and  your 
"  fpirit  will  rife  with  indignation.  *  They  not 
only  aflert  that  certain  laws  /hall  be  repealed 
let  the  fenfe  of  the  majority  be  what  it  may, 
but  they  threaten  us  with  the  eftablilhment  pf 
an  independent  government,  or  a  return  to  t^e 
allegiance  of  Great  Britain.'* 
Molt  people  thought  this  was  a  bolt  fhot ;  but 
they  forgot,  that  he  faid,  in  the  fame  harrangue, 
that,  "  from  defcds  in  the  militia  fyftem,  or 
^*  fome  other  unfortunate  caufe^  the  attempts  to  ob- 

*  Ah,  Sir  !  ought  the  Officers  and  Soldiers  of  the  State 
nfrennfjlvanlaxn  fe«l  indiirTiaiion  againft  nobndv  b'K  the  tis- 
/.V(/tV  <'  Weftern  Brethren  "  ?  '       , 


a 


n 


<c 


) 

me  to  advantage :  thii 
d  market  with  a  ven- 
ire alarming  accounts 
ig  George  tor  ever  ;" 
:k  upon  trees  with, 
opprefsyou."  BiJIety 
hofc  of  Orlando  an4 

it  the  rind,  r'       3 

lincl,  "  <        i' 

iking  love,  but  it  n 
:  on  Treafon  and  Re- 
but very  ill  with  the 
lins  aflembled  at  Par- 

f  I  do  not  give  full 
3r  of  Pennfylvania  afi. 
I  he  was  harranguing 
ide  them  to  affemblc 
I  of  marching  againft 
"Liften,"  faidhe, 
Infurgents,  and  your 
lation.  *  They  not 
ws  /hall  be  repealed 
rity  be  what  it  may, 
the  eftablifhment  Qf 
ent,  or  a  return  to  t^e 


>> 


was  a  bolt  Jhot ;  but 
the  fame  harrangue, 
^e  militia  fyftem,  or 
%  the  attempts  to  ob- 

jnd  Soldiers  of  the  State 
igainft  nobndy  biK  the  t/i- 


(     25    ) 

«  tain  the  quota  of  militia  by  regular  drafts 
«  had  failed:*  If  they  had  recoUeaed,  that, 
under  iuch  circumftances,  the  end  of  an  har- 
raneue  was  to  "  ftir  men's  bloods,"  and  not  to 
be  very  nice  in  the  ftatement  of  fafts,  they  would 
not  have  been  furprifcd,  that  our  Solomon  (I 
can  have  no  intention  to  hint,  that  the  wife  Go- 
vernor has  ever  had  three  hundred  concubines,  at 
a  time  ;  human  nature  cannot  ftand  that,  now 
a  days)  ;  they  would  not,  I  fay,  have  been  fur- 
prifed,  that  our  Solomon  Ihould  choole  Great 
Britain  as  a  fpur.  ,.   ,   ,         ,. , 

Reader,  when  you  were  a  httle  boy,  did  you 
never  carry  on  a  fecret  correfpondence  with  the 
pies  and  tarts  ;  and,  when,  by  the  rattling  ot 
&ie  plates  or  fome  other  accident,  you  were  like 
to  be  caught  at  it,  did  you  never  raife  a Jiue  and 
cry  againlt  the  poor  dogs  and  cats  ?  Thofe  who 
look  upon  the  condud  of  our  Democrats  as  un- 
natural, forget  their  own  little  roguilh  tricks. 

1  wiU  venture  to  fay,  that  there  are  not  five  per- 
fons  in  the  United  States,  poffeffing  a  degree  of 
underftanding  fuperior  to  that  ot  the  brute  ere  • 
ation,  who  believe  that  the  Rebels  have   ever 
had,  fromfirlttolad,  the  lead  idea  of  feeking 
proteaion   from    the    Biiiil>..     From   whence 
comes  the  probability  ?  All  their  partizans    m 
this  quarter  viere  to  be  found  among  the  rcvilcrs 
of  Great  Britain.     Read  their  refolves,  and  lee 
if  you  can  find  any  thing  that  leaves  them  ■.  polh- 
bility  of  fraternizing  with  the  British.     Bsfides, 
can  any  body  fuppofe,  that   the  Britilh  would 
have  accepted  of  them  ?  Unlets,  indeed,  they 
had  had  them  iu  Europe,  where  they  mi^^ht  have 
employed  them  as  a"  forlorn   hope;"  as   the 
Democrats  have  the  poor  Author  ot  the  Fohticai 


S 

J 
.  i 


41 


''if  '•' 

Ha    : 


■«■•. 


! 


mi 


•  il  -4 


(      26      ) 

Progre/s.  I  fancy,  if  they,  -with  all  their  paitl- 
zans,  and  Tom  the  Tinker  and  his  prevaricating 
Coadjutor  at  their  head,  had  went  and  olFered 
themfclves,  bodies  and  fouls,  to  Old  foxy  Dor- 
chefter,  he  would  have  faid,  as  Louis  XI.  did 
to  the  Genoefe  :  "  Vous  vous  donncz  a  moi^  et 
*'  moi,  je  vous  donnc  an  Diablc"* 

I  alk  any  reafonable  man,  what  they  could 
poflibly  expea  to  do  among  the  Britifh  ?  The 
Britifh  have  fo  many  of  this  ftamp  already,  that 
they  are  fending  oft'  fhip  loads  to  Botany  Bay 
every  mouth.  Could  a  fellow,  for  inftance,  i- 
magine,  that  having  been  the  fecretary  of  a  back 
door  club,  wonld  recommend  him  to  the  poft  of 
fecretary  in  Canada  ?  Prudence  would  prevent 
the  employment  of  one  whole  only  talent  is,  blow- 
ing hot  and  cold -with  the  fame  mouth  ;  becaufe  fuch 
a  perfon  might  become  thttool  of  every  intriguing 
foreigner,  and,  by  his  prevarication,  might  em- 
broil the  whole  government.  Would  any  one 
(except  one  likehimfclf)  put  fuch  a  man  in  a  poft 
of  confidence  ?  I  put  this  queftion  to  every  think- 
ing American,and  particularly  to  every  Pennfyl- 
vanian. 

And  with  refped  to  Tom  the  Tinker  himfelf 
(for  he  is,  on  every  account,  entitled  to  the  pre- 
eminence), what  could  he  expeft  among  the 
Britiftj  ?  If  he  were  to  play  any  of  his  drunken 
Tinker-  like  tricks  amongft  them,  it  would  not 
be  begging  pardon,  that  would  bring  him  off": 
if  he  were  to  tell  them  that  his  "  hammer  was 
"  up,  and  his  ladle  hot,  and  that  he  would  not 
*'  travel  the  country  for  nothing  ",  lam  miftakea 
if  they  would  not  pay  him  oft'  with  a  good  five 
hundred  lafties,  well  counted  ;  for  the  Britifh 
are  pundual  in  paying  their  debts.     They  would 

*  "  Yougiveyourfclves  tome, and! giveyouto  the  devil." 


liiL 


fu\ 


th  all  their  pai  ti- 
;  his  prevaricating 
*vent  and  olFered 
o  Old  foxy  Dor- 
is Louis  XI.  did 
donncz  a  moi,  et 

what  they  could 
he  Britifh?  The 
imp  already,  that 
to  Botany  Bay 
',  for  inftance,  i- 
fecretary  of  a  back 
liin  to  the  port:  of 
e  would  prevent 
nly  talent  is,  blow- 
th ;  becaufe  fuch 
of  every  intriguing 
:ation,  might  cm- 
Would  any  one 
h  a  man  in  a  poft 
)n  to  every  think- 
to  every  Pennfyl- 

le  Tinker  himfelf 
ititled  to  the  pre- 
peft  among  the 
ly  of  his  drunken 
m,  it  would  not 
d  bring  him  off: 
s  "  hammer  was 
that  he  would  not 
",  lam  miftakea 
with  a  good  five 
;  for  the  Britifh 
ts.     They  would 

giveyouto  the  devil." 


(•    =7    ) 

teach  him  how  to  fet  people   together   by   the 
cars  anothi-T  time. 

Could  a  fot  like  Tom  imagine  that  the  Cana- 
dian ladies  would  have  fallen  in  love  with  him 
becaufe  his  fcull  had  often  been  decorated  with  a 
liberty  Cap,  to  teftify  his  attachment  to  the  nati- 
on from  which  they  are  defcended  ?  No  ;  the 
ladies,  all  the  world  over,  are,  from  long  expe- 
rience, too  well  convinced  of  the  truth  of  Gold- 
fmith's  maxim  :  "  A  man  who  is  eternally  vo- 
"  ciferating  liberty  J  liberty  !  is  generally,  in 
•'  his  oivnfamily,  a  mofl:  cruel  and  inbiunar  tyrant  .** 

The  truth  is,  thofe  among  us  who  have  made 
the  moft  noife,  and  have  expreflcd  the  mofl  ran- 
cour againft  Great  Britain,  feem  to  have  done 
it  only  to  cover  their  enmity  to  the  Federal  Go- 
vernment, and  confequently  to  their  country,  if 
we  may  with  propriety  call  it  their  country.  Let 
any  man  take  a  review  of  iheir  conduft  Unce  the 
beginning  of  the  prefeTit  European  war,  and  fee 
if  this  obfervation  is  not  uniformly  true.  It  was 
they  who  raifed  fuch  a  clamour  againfl  the  Pre- 
fident's  wife  Proclamation  of  Neutrality  ;  it  was 
they  who  encouraged  an  infolent  and  intriguing 
foreigner  to  fet  the  laws  of  the  Union  at  defiance 
andto  treattheSupreme  Executive  Authority  as  if 
he  hadbeen  aTalienor  aBarrere,  orthePrefidcnt 
of  nothing  but  a  Democratic  or  Jacobin  Club  ; 
it  was  they  who  brought  the  vexations  and  de- 
predations on  the  commerce,  and  then  Guillio- 
tined  in  effigy  the  Embaflador  extraordinary,  the 
Angel  of  Peace,  who  went  to  repair  their  fault ; 
finally,  it  was  they  who  fanned  the  embers  of 
Rebellion  in  the  Wefl  into  a  flame,  and  caufed 
fourteen  urfifteenthoufand  men  to  be  taken  from 
-.    ..-  .  E 


I  II 


r 


(    28    ) 

their  homes,  to  underj^o  a  ^"«^  ^^^'^  ff  "IJf 
n^lin  atthc  cxpcnccof  amilhonanda  half  of 

6Xs  othc  United  States.  The  fame  perverfe 

San  1  at  heroically  hurled  down  the  Statue  of 

Lord  Chatham,  and  manfully  made>var  uponaa 

•T         oni  1  Crown,  endeavoured  to  mtroduce  a 

It?:  pTeventrPrefden.  of  the  United  St„es 

frrmbeine  re.elcacd,and  openly  declared  (by  the 

ufuTl  vehicle  of  their  manifcftos,  a  gazette)  that 

k  wL  imp  oper  to  fend  the  Chief  Judge  as  Em- 

■"'ru^Se'r'^AXard  circU.nce  I  muft 

f  r-     that  the  meddling  enemies  ot  the  iJn- 

jrnftV—ta^dof  th?t  of  thelinlted  states 

Cld  be  the  fame,  the  faa  is  hov.evcr-nd,fpu- 
'"•^^r'^otriKVayrrhaverecourfeto 
'what  has  appeared  in  print  ;    words  are  xvind  ; 
a  man  fays  aching  in  earned  that  he  tetrads  by 
turning  it  into  a  joke     Befides,  we  fay  a  hun- 
dred things,  in  the  heat  of  argument  or  paffion 
that  we  do  not  think;  but  writmg,  and  parti- 
.     cutly  writing  for  the  prefs,  Is  a  dehberf  aft 
When  a  perfon  fits  down  to  write,  his  mind  muft 
be  in  fome  forfcompofed ;  time  is  neceffary  or 
the  arrangement  of  his  ideas ;  what  he  has  writ- 
ten  muft  be  examined  with  care  ;  he  augments, 
curtails,  correas  and  improves.     All  this  natu- 

nViU  nctthereaderbe  furprifed  to  hear  that  the  follow- 
Wtoi  "v^dtLritevvUhWm?  "  f>1av  national  grat.- 
«^ude  evcrdiftingviifti  Anirrkans.  "  This  is  a  pretty  clear 
;  proof,  1  think,  tlfat  they  did  not  look  upon  the- felves  as 
Americans  .  or.  at  leall,  that,  in  the.r  capacity  of  Detno 
•  crats,  they  looked  upon  them  elves  as  exempted  1.  om  all 
tLofe  moral  obligations  that  bind  the  reft  of  mankind. 


I 


,,^:» 
■'*.■. 


•iv-r^-v 


id  fatiguing  cam- 
ion and  a  half  of 
[he  fame  perverfe 
wn  the  Statue  of 
nade  war  upon  an 
red  to  introduce  a 
the  United  States 
ly  declared  (by  vhe 
)8,  a  gazette)  that 
:hief  Judge  as  Em- 
land,  becaufe  they 
•y  the  Prefident !  * 
cumf»J.nce,  I  muft 
lemies  of  the  Bri- 
f  the  United  States 
s  howevcr«indifpu- 

ute. 

0  have  recourfe  to 

words  are  wind  ; 

that  he  letraftsby 
les,  we  fay  a  hun- 
rgument  or  paflion, 
writing,  and  parti- 

is  a  deliberate  aft. 
vrite,  his  mind  muft 
ime  is  neceffary  for 
;  what  he  has  writ- 
:are  ;  he  augments, 
ires.     All  this  natu- 

to  hear  that  the  follow- 
?  «'  Mav  national  grati- 
"  This  is  a  pretty  clear 
look  upon  themfelves  as 
their  capacity  of  Demo- 
5  as  exempted  from  all 
he  reft  of  mankind. 


(    '9    ) 

rally  implies  the  moft  mature  reflexion,  and 
makes  an  affertion  or  an  opinion  in  print  be  juft- 
ly  regarded  as  irrctradlablo.  For  this  reafon,  I 
Ihall,  in  lupport  of  my  pofition,  brmg  an  extract 
from  a  print  whofe  charaQer,  in  ihc  patn- 
»tic  world,  yields  to  that  of  no  one. 

I  have  already  done  myfelf  the  honour  of  cx- 
traaing  a  fong  from  this  print,  after  which  its 
hatred  to  the  Government  of  Great  Britam  will 
not  be  difputed,  and,  I  think,  the  reader  will 
foon  be  convinced  that  its  hatred  to  that  of  the 
United  States  is  equally  fmcere.  Indeed  the 
following  extrad  bears  in  itfelf  fuch  ample 
confirmation  of  what  I  affert,  that  it  needs  no 

comment.  ...  r  * 

«  There  is  afet  ofmenxn  this  country  [Ame- 
«*  rica]  who,  to  palliate,  or  rather  deny  the 
«'  mal-adminiftration    of  Government,  charge 
"  the  difcontents  and  clamours  of  the  people  to  a 
reftlefs  temper,  or  the  artsoffadiousand  de- 
figninf?  men.     In  order  to  illuftrate  this  affer- 
tion, It  is  infifted  that  our  conHittiion  is  a  per- 
feaion  of  human  wifdom— it  is  admitted  that 
our  conftitution  is  excellent,  and  that  com- 
pared with  the  forms   of  government  which 
have  preceded  it,  we  really  difcover  afuperi- 
ority,  that  occafions  a  furprife  that  the  people 
are  not  happy  and  contented." 
"  Whatever'  courtiers  may  pleafe  to  fay,  on 
my  part,  I  feel  no  inclination  to   compliment 
men  in  power  at  the  expence  of  the  difpofiti- 
on  and  good  fenfe  of  my  fellow  citizens- — - 
To  charge  a  people  heretofore   diftinguiftied 
for  their  prompt   and  due  fubmiffion  to  the 
laws,  and  orderly   conduft,  with  turbulence 
E  2  ...  -    ,• 


«« 


<( 


(( 

C( 


(« 
(( 
«< 
(( 


'  ---■■■..j.jiijfc^^^g 


-45- 


r 


(  30  ; 

"  and  utiju/l  difiontmly  or  to  fuppofc  tha;  tlie 
good  Icnfc  of  American  citizens  cannot  pene- 
trate the  defigns  of  fatlious  men,  are  alTcrti- 
ons  fcarcely  meriting  ferious  attention. 
"  The  conltitution  of  the  United  States  is  free 
and  excellent,  and  yet  the  people  arc  not  hap- 
py and  contented.  In  free  governments  vvl,en 
the  laws  are  well  adminlflred,  the  n.  lonal 
honour  regarded,  and  the  property  of  the 
citizens  protcQcd,  fubmiflion  to  the  law,  and 
confidence  in  thofe  who  arc  charged  with  the 
"  adminillration,  will  confeqiiently  follow.  But 
**  when  the  property  of  the  citizen  is  unproted- 
*'  cd,  nay  even  his  /acred  perlbn  can  find   no 

"  prote(5tion  * when  the  honour  of  the  na- 

*'  tion  is  become  fo/»r<9/['/7i//f<^/,  that  an  invafion 
"  of  territory  or  denial  of  jufl:  right  is  fubmifted 
"  to  with  humility — when  the  national  honour 
"  cannot  be  aflerted,  becaufc  it  might  interfere 
*'  with  the  venal  proje^s  of  a  certain  junto — when 
"  every  mcafure  which  n pretended  io  he  ^\xv[\x- 
ed  for  the  public  welfare,  is  veiled  with  a 
myllerious  lecrecy  becoming  a  Turkifli  Divan, 
and  when  men  are  appointed  to  procure  redrcfs 
-—in  whom  the  people  moft  interefled,  have 
no  confidence,  and  againfl:  whom  conditutio- 
nal  objeftions  are  juftly  fuggefted— what  are 
we  to  expeft  ?— dilguftj  difcontent  and  total 
*'  want  of  confidence  muft  refult." 


<( 

(( 
(( 
(( 

(C 

«( 

(C 


(( 
<c 

ti 


'f 


*  I  wonder  whether  this  furious  Democrat  would  have 
the  CoiigrcCs  go  in  perfoH,  and  tear  the  IJcy  of  Algicrs's 
eyes  out  .'  How  could  the  Government  help  the  peate  be- 
tween the  /Mgerines  and  rorliinrucfe,  any  more  than  they 
can  help  its  thundering  or  raining  ?  I'll  venture  my  life  tl/is 
liberty  boy  has  never  ^iven  a  penny  towards  the  ranfoniing 
of  the  prifoncrs  in  Algiers, 


■iSji  ii'ifiii-if»ii 


■■?;# 


ife  tha;  die 
:ann©t  ptrie- 
,  arc  afleiii- 
ition. 

States  is  free 
arc  mt  hap- 
mcnts  vvlicn 
lie  n,  ional 
;rty  of  the 
he  hiw,  and 
[cd  with  the 
follow.  But 
s  unprotcd- 
an  find  no 
r  of  the  na- 
an  invafion 
s  fubmiftcd 
)nal  honour 
ht  interfere 
unto — when 
to  bcpurfu- 
led  with  a 

cure  redrcfs 
efled,  have 
conditutio- 
1— what  are 
t  and  total 


:  would  have 
y  of  Algicrs's 
the  peace  be- 
lore  ibiin  they 
re  my  life  tliis 
the  ranfoming 


*; 


(  31    ) 

*'  Tliat  the  people  arc  diffatisncd,  and  do 
"  complain  from  New  Ilamniire  to  Ceor-,ia, 
**  from  the  Ocean  to  the  Miliillipi,  is  what  no 
proditiited  fycophant  of  power  will  dare  de- 
ny— That  thofc  complaints  arc  too  Wv.ll  foun- 
ded is  our  misfortune — but  il  you  doubt,  afl: 
your  merchant  what  red r*  Is  lie  has  received 
for  his  l>rol>crly  robbed  and  plundered  upon 
the  molt  infamous  pretexts  ?  alk  your  ma- 
riner what  rcdnfa  he  has  received  for  the  hjs 
of  Lis  hard  earned ferviees^"  for  his  AiHerin^ 
byprilbn  ihips  and  eniprcllinent  ? — afU  your 
*'  fellow  citizens  from  one  end  of  our  extcnlive 
"  frontier  to  the  other,  what  they  fuller  ?  On 
*'  the  one  hand  they  are  expofed  to  the  nuir- 
"  dering  hatchet  of  the  lavage  Indians,  and  liu: 
"  encroachments  of  the  more  fava^e  Briton. — 
"  On  the  other  a  natural  right  is  withheld, 
"  x\\o\\<^\  fee  lire  d  by  fclcmn  treaty. —  But  under 
"  all  thefc  difgraceful  and  diitrelTing  circuin- 
••  fiances,  we  are  told  that  our  complaints,  ;;re 
"  the  ebullitions  of  a  reftlefs  difpofition,  or 
*■'  that  they  are  created  by  the  machinations  of 
"  a  faftion — for  w  have  a  molt  excellent  go- 
"  vernment,  and  virtuous,  and  great  men  to 
"  adminifter  it. — 'I'hat  the  government  is  good 
"  we  believe — but  without  charging  any  par- 
"  ticular  branch  of  it,  we  ftiall  not  helitate  to 
pronounce  'lat  our  affairs  are  badly  conduc- 
ed and  wh^  ther  from  the  errors  of  ignorance 
or  the  defigns  of  wickednefs,  a  remedy 
fhould  be  applied— -And  thank  God  !  that 
remedy,    though  not  immediately .,  will,    'ere 


*  I  fuppofe  the  reader  knows,,  tliat  Democrats  claim  a<) 
a  natural  privilege,  an  coemption  front  writing  and  fpc.ili- 
ing  fenfe. 


mmm 


cc 


tt 


(  32  ) 

I 

"  long  be  in  the  hands  of  the  people  *— then  it  isto 
*'  be  hoi>ed  that  the  tnie  Republicans  of  America 
"  will  unite,  and  hurl  with  juft  refentment 
«  from  their  exalted  (lations,  men  who  have 
«  abufed  the  confidence  of  a  generous  people. 

«  fo  effect  this- — perfevere   ye   writers  in 

«  defence  of   liberty—and  yon  popular  focieties, 
*'  relax  not  your  laudable  pur fuits,  your  coun- 
*'  trymen  fhall  blefs  you,  and  your  honefl:  zeal 
fhall  be   crowned  with  patriotic  rewards— ^- 
let  no  confiderations  of  pajifervicesy  or  tem- 
porary dignity,  deter  you  from  exhibiting  to    , 
public  view  the  public  fervant  who  has  abufed 
"  his  triifi^  or  afts  not  for  the  intereft  of  thofe 
«  who  conftituted  him.     Difregard  the  infinua- 
«  tions  of  men  who  objeft  to  fuch  inftitutions 

<c  no  man  would  objeft  to  fuch  focieties,  but 

"  one  uho  ivijhes  to  reduce  you  to  the  condition  of 
"  flavcs^  to  deprive  you  of  the  right  of  thinking 
"  and  exercifmg  your  opinions  upon  public  af- 
"  fairs,  or  one  whofe  conduft  will  not  bear  the 
"  tefl  of  invefligation." 

I  could  go  on  to  a  thoufand  pages  with  pieces 
of  this  caft,  that  have  appeared  within  the  laft 
nine  months ;  but,  I  dare  fay,  the  reader  will 
cxcufe  my  ftoppinghere.  This  piece  was  among 
the  firll  I  came  at,  and  I  have  copied  it  word 
for  word  and  letter  for  letter,  without  even  the 
omiffionof  a  comma  or  a  dafh.  Since  the  fail- 
ure of  a  certain  enterprife,  there  is  no  doubt 
that  the  Author  or  Authors  of  it  would  wilh  it 
turned  into  blank  paper  ;  but,  alas!  the  wifh  is 
vain  J  in  vain  would  they  cry,  with  Lady  Mac- 

*  This  prophecy  appeared  in  print  about  the  20th  of  Ju- 
ly laft,  juft  at  the  time  when  the  Rebellion  in  the  Weft  was 
breaking  out ;  its  date  explains  its  meaning. 


A- 


^^:,4;um^>i^..^:i^j^.A>.:is>^^^''-*^>^^^^^^^^^ 


—then  it  is  to 
ns  of  America 
ft  refentment 
•n  who  have 
lerous  people, 
ye   writers  in 
opular/ocieties, 
'J,  your  coun- 
ur  honeft  zeal 
tic  rewards — ^- 
rvicesf  or  tem- 
1  exhibiting  to    . 
irho  has  abufed 
tereft  of  thofe 
ird  the  infinua- 
ich  inftitutions 
h  focieties,  but 
the  condition  of 
ght  of  thinking 
upon  public  af- 
/illnot  bear  the 

iges  with  pieces 
i  within  the  laft 
the  reader  will 
liece  was  among 
copied  it  word 
ithout  even  the 
Since  the  fail- 
e  is  no  doubt 
it  would  \yilh  it 
alas!  thewilh  is 
vith  Lady  Mac- 
bout  the  20th  of  Jn- 
lioninthe  Weft  was 

;aning. 


jJlCj.'juH'.'.JW-'MtJ^'''' 


(    33    ) 
beth  ;  "  out,  damn'd  fpot  1"  It  is  like-.-thelr 

"CsXn,  I  think,  nobody  will  deny    that 
a  hatred  of  the  Britifh  Government  and  of  tha 
of  the  United  States  go  hand  m  hand.     Nori. 
the  reafon  of  this  at  all  myftenous  ;  it  is  not 
becaufe  of  their  refemblance  to  each  other  m 
form,  nor,  as  the  Democrats   have  ingemoufiy 
obfTrved,   becaufe  "  there  is  fome  dangerous 
"conneaion  between  Great  Britain  and  our 
«  public  affairs;"  it  is  becaufe  they_  are  both 
pu?fuing  the  fame  line  of  conduft  with  refpeft  * 
L  clubs^nd  confpirations ;  it  is  becaufe  they 
have  both  the  fame  radical  defeft,  or  power  to 
fupprefs  anarchy  ;  it  is,to  fayall  in  one  word,be. 
caufe  they  are  governments.     Great  Britain  has 
a  government  ff  fome  fort  (nobody  will  deny 
that,lfuppofe),  and  this  is  fufficient  to  ment 
thei  execration.     It  is  not  the  form  of  a  go- 
.vernment,  it  is  not  the  manner  of  its  admiuif- 
uatrn  ;  it  is  the  thing  itfelf,  they  are   at  war 
^vith,  and  that  they  muft  be   eternally  at   war 
with  J  for,  government  implies  order,  and   or- 
der and  anarchy  can  never  agree.     1  he   Car- 
magnole  SyRem  (if  there  can  be  any  Syftem  in 
annihilation)  is  exadly  adapted  to  their  tafte 
andintereft;  a  Syftem  that  has   made        rich 
«  men  look  fad  and  ruffians  dance  and  fing. 
If  this  were  not  the  true  reafon,  why  fuch   an 
eternallarum  about  the   Britifh   Government 
What  have  we  or  our  Democrats  to  do  with  it  i- 
If  the  people  of  that  country  like  it,  why  need  it 
pefter  us  ?  That  pious  and  patriotic  Scotchman, 
the  Author  of  the  Political  Prosre/s,  tt\h  us      to 
«  wilh  that  an  Earthquake  or  a  Volcano  may 


pS'^^^h^^.yiii^Wi'0 


[■-■Df^tijf^y'f  •■■''' 


V-' 


C    31    ) 

"  bury  the  whole  Britifh  Iflands  *  together  in 
"  the  centre  of  the  globe;  that  a  fingle,  but 
"  decifive  exertion  of  Almighty  vengeance  may 
"  terminate  theprogrefs  f  and  the  remembrance 
"  of  their  crimes."  Yea,  be  it  even  as  thou 
fayeft,  thou  mighty  Cyclop  ;  but  let  us  leave 
ihem  then  to  the  vengeance  of  the  Almighty  ; 
let  us  not  ufurp  the  place  of  the  Thunderer. 

Underftand  me,  reader  ;  I  would  by  no  means 
infinuate,  that  a  man  cannot  be  a  firm  friend  of 
the  Federal  Government,  and  at  the  fame  time 
wi(h  all  manner  of  fuccefs  to  the  French,  in 
their  prefent  ftruggle  for  what  their  vanity  and 
our  complaifance  have  termed  Liberty  ;  on  the 
contrary,  I  think  it  very  natural  for  an  Ameri- 
can, who  has  no  other  idea  of  Liberty  than  that 
which  is  conveyed  to  him  by  his  fenfes  ;  who  is 
not  refined  enough  to  tafte  that  metaphyfical 
kind  of  Liberty,  that  can  exift  only  in  a 
brain  aiflifted  with  the  mania  reformatio ;  who  in 
in  fhort,  has  no  notion  that  Liberty  confifts  in 
yielding  up  the  crop  he  has  laboured  all  the 
year  to  raife,  and  in  receiving  three  or  four  oun- 
ces of  blacK  bread  a  day  in  lieu  of  it :  it  is  natu- 
ral, and  even  laudable  for  fuch  a  man  to  be 
zealous  in  the  caufe  of  the  French,  who,  as  he  is 
told,  are  fighting  for  Liberty  ;  but  even  he 
ought  to  keep  his  zeal  within  the  bounds  of  de- 
cency :    when  it  breaks  out  into  Civic-Feafts, 

•  And  the  Ifle  of  Sky,  that "  tcrrcftrial  paradife,"  among 
the  reft? 

t  If  fomc  fuch  exertion  had  terminated  another  proireff 
it  niight  have  fparod  fomebody  a  good  many  fits  of  the 
gripes. 


'£;  jrittti.  Jti.  iij.:,i'ii't"'-'i;T^'°r' ■.'■^ii—t-.".'-- '"-  •i-jituu^'Jimt^m^-n 


._ 


together  in 

fmgle,  but 

igeance  may 

imembrance 

en  as   thou 

let  us    leave 

Ahnighty  ; 

hundercr. 

jy  no  means 

rm  friend  of 

e  fame  time 

French,  in 

vanity  and 

rty  ;  on  tht 

r  an  Ameri- 

ty  than  that 

fes ;  who  is 

netaphyfical 

only   in  a 

xiio ;  who  in 

1  confifts  in 

jred  all  the 

or  four  oun- 

:  it  is  natu- 

man  to  be 

vho,  as  he  is 

)ut  even  he 

Dunds  of  de- 

Civic-Feafts, 

radifc,"  among 


lothcr  prnirif< 
lanv  fits  of  the 


(    35    ) 

CockaJcs  a  la  trkokr,  and  fuel)  like  bufTooncry, 
U  c-xi  ofcs  him  to  ridicule,  and   makes  h:m  on. 
of  the  rabble.     "Let  the  Fr..Kh  wear  heir  ga  - 
'^  lands  of  ih-aw  ;letthem  drpf.up  thc.rltrump  U 
-  ia  leaves  of  oak,   and  nickname  their  calav 
"  dar  •  let  them  plav  thofe  pranks  at  home,  and 
"  wJnKlubebut'merryfpeaators"     Theicai-c 
,he  words  of  a  gentleman,  who  fcems  to  ha.e 
been,  on  this  occafion,  and,  indeed,    on  mo  t 
othe;  occafions,  rather  unfriendly  to  our  allies^ 
1  am  for  carryingour  corapUulancefurtho  ,  I  .m 
for  not  only  letting  them  phy  their   pianks  at 
home,butherealfo:iftheyp  cafe.  If  thcrebefome- 
thing,  the  feeing  of  which  may  turn  to  cai  a- 
nu"ement  or  profit,liee  noreai<>n  why  we  fl^.ould 
C    our  eyes  ?  Did  not  the  wife  Lacedemonians 
n    -e  tL     (laves  drunk,  and  turn  them  loofe, 
once  avear,  to  infplre  their  youth  with  a  horror 
for  tkJ  b.aaiy  vicle  ?  In  (liort,!  am  for  hearing 
hem,  looking  at  them,  laughing  at  them    or 
.nv   hin-  but  icnitating  them.     Imitation   here 
r  idicufous.     When  Shakefpear  wrote  the  cha- 
•after  of  an  Ja^o  or  a  Caliban,  or  Moherc    that 
\ftraru,p.  'they  certainly  never  meant  to  ex- 
cite  ivnition.     Thoufands  of  mob    crowd  to 
e  one  of  their  friends  hanged,  but  not  one  of 
them  ever  dreams  of  participating  in  the   cere- 

"' Tjlklncr  of  dreaming  puts  me  in  mind  of  a 
dream  I  had  laa  fummcr,  which  is  fo  apropos  to 
fhe  prefent  fubjea,  and  contains  fo  many  whim- 
Sarcumftalices,  that  I  flatter  mylelf  it  will 
not  be  difaereeable  to  the  r.-aoer. 
"n  the  month  of  Aup.'l  laft.  (I  believe  it  was 
'on  the  lo/A  or  i  uh  day)  I  retired   to  r ell  about 

F 


ii(«!!JfeW>|!Miii"jiii  WlMiWft''  " 


(    3S    ) 

eleven  o'clock  ;  but  the  heat  and  mufquitos  to-- 
pether  prevented  me  from  falling  afleep,  'till  the 
Watchman  had  been  round  for  three.  Soon  af- 
ter this  I  dropped  off,  for  about  an  hour  and  a 
half,  during  which  time  my  fancy  fported  in  the 
following  dream. 

I  thought,  Iwas  walking  upMarket  Street,  by 
the  fide  of  Old  William  Penn,  the  founder  of 
the  City ;  who  told  me,  1  thought,  that  he 
was  come  upon  earth  again  to  fee  if  his  defen- 
dants, and  thofe  of  his  companions,  continued 
to  walk  in  the  paths  of  peace  and  integrity.  I 
thought,  I  alked  himwith  akind  of  fneer,whether 
he  had  not  found  things  furpafling  his  expefta- 
tion  ;  upon  which  the  old  man,  after  a  heavy 
figh,  told  me  a  long  deal  about  freeing  Blacks 
with  one  hand,  and  buying  Whites  with  the 
other,  about  godly  malice  and  maple-fugar,  and 
about  thofe  "  ',>recious  hypocrites"  (thefe  were 
his  very  words)  Briflbtand  Warner  Mifflin,  &c. 
&c.  &c.  to  the  end  of  the  chapter. 

Before  the  good  old  man  had  finifhed  his  fto- 
ry,which,  by  the  by,  was  a  pretty  tough  one,  we 
were,  I  thought,  got  to  the  upper  end  of  Market 
Street,  where  we  were  flopped  by  a  monilrous 
crowd  of  people,  that  not  only  blocked  up  the 
way,  but  filled  all  the  fields  for  a  great  way  out. 
I  thought,  however,  that  we  wedged  along  a- 
mong  the  crowd  for  a  good  while,  'till  at  lafl. 
we  could  penetrate  no  further.  Our  ears  were 
afTailed  from  all  quarters  with  the  firing  of  can- 
non, founding  of  trumpets,  beating  of  drums, 
ringing  of  bells,  finging,  hooping,  hallowing 
and  blafpheming,  as  ifheliitfelfhad  been  broke 
loofe.  Yet,  the  crowd  feemed  not  to  exprefs  the 
eaft  fear  :   joy  feemed  feated  on  every  coun- 


-«e«*!»*'s^ 


mufquitos  to- 
ifleep,  'till  the 
ree.  Soon  af- 
an  hour  and  a 

fported  in  the 

rket  Street,  by 
he  founder  of 
ight,  that  he 
;  if  his  defcen- 
>ns,  continued 
d  integrity.  I 
Ffneer,whether 
g  his  expefta- 
after  a  heavy 
freeing  Blacks 
tiites  with  the 
aple-Iugar,  and 
i"  (thefe  were 
ler  Mifflin,  &c. 
r. 

inifhed  his  fto- 
tough  one,  we 
end  of  Market 
y  a  monllrous 
blocked  up  the 
great  way  out. 
edged  along  a- 
le,  'till  at  laft. 
Our  ears  were 
e  firing  of  can- 
ting of  drums, 
ing,  hallowing 
lad  been  broke 
)t  to  exprefs  the 
m  every  coun- 


(    37    ) 

tenance,  and  expeftation  in  every  eye.     We  had 
not  waited  long  in  this  fituation,  when  two  ban- 
ners,, at  fome  little  diftance,  announced  the  ap- 
proach of  a  proceflion,  at  once  the  mod  ludi- 
crous and  mod  idolatrous  that  ever  eyes  beheld. 
I  thoughtthere  wasafortof  pyramid,madeof  pap- 
per,witha  red  nightcap  upon  the  top  of  it,and  car- 
ried by  two  Americans  and  two  Foreigners,  all 
of  whom,  like  the  Pyramid,  weredreffed  inred 
night-caps.     Round  the  Pyramid   mat /led,  I 
thought,  a  bevy  of  Virgins  in  white  robes,  each 
wearing  a  crown  and  ceftus  tricolor,  and  bearing 
a  garland  in  her  hand  ;  and  (what  ftufF  do  we 
dream  of! )  I  thought  thefenymphs  wereulheredby 
nine  or  ten  priefts,whofe  only  mark  of  diftinftion 
was  2Lnofegay  oijlraw  tied  round  with  a  ribbon.  I 
thought  that  behind  thefe,  came  a  company  of 
artillery  with  their  cannon.andthat  they  were  fol- 
lowed by  a  gangof  Mufic.  Then,Ithought,follow- 
ed  the  two  banners  above  mentioned ;  one  of 
them  having  for  arms  the  Imperial  Eagle,  ju(l 
as  it  is  feen  on  the  ftandayds  of  the  Holy  Roman 
Empire  ;  the  other  was  fo  black  and  dirty  that 
I  could  not  diftinguifli  its   armory  ;  it   feemed, 
I  thought,  rather  the  enfign  of  the  infernal  re- 
gions than  of  any  earthly  nation.    "  After  this 
*'  I  beheld,  and,  lo,  a  great  multitude  that  no 
**  man  could  number,  of  all  nations,  and  kin- 
*'  dreds,  and  people,  and  tongues",  and  colours. 
I  thought  however  I  could  diftinguifli  amongft 
them  (but  it  is  all  adream^  tjie  Chiefs  of  the 
State  of  Pennfylvania  !  !     ' 

I  thought,  we  followed  this  antick  fhow  into 
a  fpacious  enclofure,  where  on  an  alter,  not  of 
burnifhed  gold,  but  of  deal  boards,  ftood  Ihe 

F  2 


:-:iii^^:^S^^elrMM^Sl- 


mmm 


(    38    3 

CodJcjs,  the  objci^  of  the  Feaft.     She  was  '.li  efi- 
ed  like  the  Cyprian  Q_ueen,  when  {\:c  received 
the  prize  from  the  IdaUuui  Shepherd;  th-.\t  is  to 
fay,— in  herllun:  in  her  right  hand    flic  held  a 
flatY  mounted  with  a  night-cap,  and  in  her  Ich, 
a  dagger  :  on  her  head  Ihe  had  a  cap,  decora- 
ted,  in  appearance,    with    lillies  ;  but,  upon  a 
clofer  examination,  I  thought,  I  found  them  to 
be  real  bells.     This  difcovery,  I_  thought,  led 
mc  to  perceive,  that  I  had   committed  an  error 
with   refpcft  to  the  identity  of  her  perfon  ;  for, 
hearing  that  her  worfliipers  were  called  cus-nus,* 
I  had  concluded   (he  was  the    Goddefs  Cimia ; 
and  in  this  opinion  I  was  in  fome    mcafure  con- 
firmed by  feeing  her  fvirrounded  with  children: 
but  the  Cap  and  Bells  fet  me  right  at  once  ;  the 
nofc-gay  of  Jiraio  And  Pyramid  of  paper  were  no 
longer  myflical  ;  in  fliort,  1  faw  plainly  it  was 
the  Godde/s  of  Fol/y  ;  which,  I  thought,  wasbe- 
fides  fully  proved  by  the  behaviour  of  the  crowd. 
Butftill,  I  thought,  the  dagger  remained  unex- 
plained ;  for,  we  all  know,  that  is  not  among  the 
infignia  of  this  Goddefs.     In    this  perplexity  I 
happened  to  cafl:  my  eyes  downward,  and,  on 
the  front  of  the  altar,  I  thought  I  faw  the  follow- 
ing phrafe  from  Voltaire  :  "  Sous  ma  tiitelte   les 
*'  ftnges  agacent  les  hups." 

The  Priefts,  I  thought,  were  ranged  round 
the  altar,  offering  up  their  nofegays,  and  invok- 
ing the  afliftance  of  the  Goddefs,  while  the 
air  rang  with  Hallelujahs.  The  invocation  was 
no  fooner  ended  and  the  benediftion  given  by 
the  High  Prieft,  than  the  whole  (not  excepting 
the  Chiefs,  I  thought,  of  the  State  of  PennfyU 

*  This  means  in  the  vulgar  tongue  ;  Eare--A  — . 


•» 


ea»ffli!E!«is*5-*s'!«*sfa^ 


•TSeaspw"^'" 


She. was  JiefT- 
:n  fl:c  received 
icrd;  that  is  to 
,ml    flic  held  :\ 
ind  in  her  kh, 
a  cap,  decora- 
;  but,  upon  a 
found  them  tn 
I   thought,  led 
;iitted  an  error 
er  perfon  ;  lor, 
:allcd  cus-nuSj* 
3oddcfs  Ctoiia; 
;    mcai'ure  con- 
!  with  children: 
ht  at  once  -,  the 
"paper  were  no 
V  plainly  it  was 
lought,  was  be- 
ur  ofthe  crowd, 
remained  uuex- 
;  not  among  the 
his  perplexity  I 
nward,  and,  on 
I  fawthefollov.'- 
us  ma  tutelfe   ks 

re  ranged  round 
jays,  and  invok- 
Idcfs,  while  the 
e  invocation  was 
liftion  given  by 
e  (not  excepting 
State  of  PennfyU 

:  Barc--A  .     • 


( 


39 


) 


vania)  began  dancing  and  capering  iilaccinm. 
bale  rauvA  the  altar,  at  the  fame  time  deafening 
the  vciy  {irmamcnt  with  their  cries. 

II  ;c    my    venerable    companion,     who,    I 
thou'^ht,  had  been  very  uneaiy  during  the  wholti 
fcent^,  would  abfolutely   Hop  no   longer -,  and, 
to  confcfs  a  truth,  1  began  to  feci  a  good  deal 
line  dy  myfclf.     I  thought,  we  got    with  fome 
difiiculty  to  the   outlide  ;  and  feeing  a   youn..; 
fellow  of  a  milder  afpett  than  the  reft,  the  Old 
Man  ventuied  to  a(k  him  Jjow^^ng  thofe people  had 
been  pagans.     I  thought,  the  fellow  gave  him  a 
look  of  infinite  contempt,  and  anfwered  :  ''  1 
■ «'  fee  ynu  are  a  fuperftitious  old  fool,  that  know; 
"  nothin';;  of  the   luminous  c'.ofe  of  the  Kigh- 
"  teenth  Century.     Why,  you  (tupid  old  dog, 
*'  we   arc    all    chriftians  yet  :  what  you  have 
«=  feen  to-day  is  only  a  jubilee,  to  celebrate  tli-^ 
«'  down-fall  of  our  bell  friend,  andthe  maflacrcoF 
"  nin:  hundred  of  our  neighbours  by  the  hands 
"■'oi  forty    thoufand   of  their    countrymen."— 
As  he  fpoke  thefe  lad  words,'  I  thought  his  per- 
fon, which  was  that  of  a  gentael  and  gentle  A 
merican,  affumed  the   hidious  form  ot  the  ter- 
rific Mcdufa  ;  his  fingers  were  transformed  into 
the  claws  of  a  Tiger,  the  fangs  of  a  Boar  hung 
down  his  foaming  jaws,  his  eyes  became  a  gla- 
rincT  ball,  and  his  hair  a  bed  of  fnakes,  curling 
roulid  his  {kuU  and  hiffing  deftruaion.     The 
poor  Old  Man,  though  immortal,  was  appalled, 
and  rufhed  into  the  grave  to  hide  himfelf  from 
the  petrifying  fight.     I  uttered  a  fhriek,  and  a- 
waked  ;  but,  awaking  was  very  far  from  piittinp; 
an  end  to  my  fright  :  ftil!  the  noife  continued, 
and  ftill  was  I.ftiHencd  with  horror  ;  u;ub!c  to 
determin':i  whether  it  was  a  dream  or  not.     My 


,t«ii  II  y  iiuSijauiwar  - 


■'■■•?^:^m:^s^^M^^mim^^sv. 


.        (40) 

voice  however,  had  alarmed  the  family,  afid, 
Oh  !  how  glad  was  I  to  find,  that  the  noife  1 
heard,  was  nothing  but  that  of  the  French  and 
our  own  citizens,  affembled  to  celebrate  the 
"  Holy  Infurreftion"  of  the  23d  Thermidor! 

Ah  !  Mr.  Author  of  The  Political  Progrefs  ; 
you  think  I  have  forgotten  you,  do  you  r  You 
will  find  prefently  that  I  have  not  :  but  I  muft 
have  time  for  fleeping,  you  know,  whether  I 
dream  or  not.  I  did  not,  like  you,  bring  my 
pamphlet,  ready  fabricated,  from  Scotland  j 
and,  befides,  I  have  better  company  than  you, 
at  prefent ;  you  will  therefore  pleafe  to  cxcufe 
ms  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  longer. 

In  France,  and,  I  believe,  in  moft  of  the  0- 
ther  countries  of  Europe,  when  a  Mountebank 
Doftor,  a  Puppet  Man,  or  any  other  of  the  iti- 
nerant tribe,  enters  a  town,  he  goes  round  with 
a  trumpet  to  announce   his  arrival.     Tantarra 
foon  brings  a  troop  of  blackguard  boys  round 
him,  and,  thus  attended,  he  ftruts   about  the 
llreets,  (lopping  from  time  to  time  to*  advf  rtife 
the  people  of  the  unheard-of  feats  that  are  juft  go- 
ing to  be  performed,  and  concluding  every  har- 
raiague  with,  "  hollow,  you  dogs,    hollow  !** 
Upon  this  follows  a  noife,  compared  to  which, 
the  War  Hoop  of  the  Indians,  or  even  a  debate 
in  the  National  Convention,  is  melody.    But, 
deteftable  as  it  is,  it  anfwers  the  purpole  of  the 
Operator;    for,    though  fober  fenfible  people 
(huntiim  and  all  that  belongs  to  him  as  they 
would  the  Itch  or  the  Halter,  he  generally  finds 
dupes  in  too  great  abundiance. 

How  often  has  this  tour  of  European  charlata- 
nerie  been  played  off  upon  us,  fince  the  month 
of  March,  1793  !  Since  that  time  more  money 


-TBKBSBsaa^smS? 


^bj-!^«B«!W,i!.jM^«J,W- 


mily,  and, 
the  noife  I 
French  and 
lebrate  the 
:rmidor. 
r/  Progrefs  ; 
I  you  r  You 

but  I  muft 
,  whether  I 
I,  bring  my 

Scotland  ; 
y  than  you, 
!e  to  cxcufe 

oft  of  the  0- 
^ountebank 
;r  of  the  iti- 
i  round  with 
I.    Tantarra 
boys  round 
$   about  the 
to*  advf  Ttife 
It  are  juft  go- 
g  every  har- 
;,    hollow  !*' 
;d  to  which, 
ven  a  debate 
elody.     But, 
Lirpole  of  the 
ifible  people 
him  as  they 
:nerally  finds 

lean  charlata- 
:e  the  month 
more  money 


■    (    4«     ) 

has  been  fpcnt  in  drinking  *'  dcftruftion  to  the 
"  combined  defpots,"  and  liberty  to  the  French^ 
than  would  have  ranfomed  our  unfortunate,  and 
I  am  afraid  forgotten  brethren,  who  arc  groan- 
ing in  chains  in  Algiers !  Merciful  Heaven  ! 
that  beared  the  moans  of  the  Captive,  and  feeft 
the  hearts  of  all  men,  is  this  "  bumamty'*?  is 
this  "  patriotifm"?  If  any  thing  could  add  to 
the  humiliation  of  having  been  the  Zany  of  a 
Charlatan,  it  would  certainly  be  this  - 

Among  the  manoeuvres  of  our  Democrats, 
there  is  none  for  which  they  are  morejuftly  de- 
ferving  admiration  than  their  adroitnefs  in  tranf- 
ferring  their  attachment  from  one  objeft  to  ano-  , 
ther.  It  is  beyond  the  power  offigures  or  words, 
to  exprefs  the  hugs  and  kifics  that  were  lavifhed  ) 
on  Citizen  Genet.  The  poor  Citizen  had  like 
to  have  fiiared  the  fate  of  the  image  of  Abel,  on 
the  church  of  cur  Lady  of  Loretro,  which,  we 
are  told,  is  aln  oft  worn  away  by  the  ardent  kif- 
fes  of  the  Pilgrims  :  for,  our  Pilgrims  who  went 
to  meet  the  Citizen,  were  by  no  means  lefs  eager 
to  give  this  mark  of  their  affediontothe  darling 
of  the  great  Alma  Mater  of  Anarchy.  I  have 
heard,  that  fuch  was  their  eagernefs  to  obtain 
precedence  on  this  joyful  occafion,  very  fevir 
parts,  if  any,  of  the  Citizen's  bodyjcfcaped  a  fa- 
lute  ;  and  that  before  he  arrived  fafe  at  the; 
*•  Capitol"  of  fome  places,  he  was  licked  as- 
clean  as  a  bear  at  three  hours/after  being  whel- 
ped. 

For  a  long  time  Lafayette  viz%  their  god  ;*  but 
it  was  found  juft  and  fit  to  exchange  him  for  thee 


*  Pdm;  dedicated  his  fecond  part  of  The  Rights  of  Man  t 
Lafaj/ette,  and,  inlels  than  a  year  afterward,    went  an 


t^gg^i-im^em^r 


(     42     ) 

**  'virtuous  Egalitc."  F.galitc'yfzi  fupplahtea 
by  Danton  j  "  the  great  and  drcaJful  Danton^ 
*'  who  comes  tlmiiderin^  on  ihe  Aridocrats, 
*♦  like  Neptune  from  Olympus."  *  But  the 
Olympian  thunder  of  this  Neptune  was  ob!ijfed 
lo  ]L\ive  place  to  the  '*  morals  and  religion  of  Ro- 
bcfpLre."  After  his  pious  report  on  the  fubjcft  of 
religion,  which  the  Unitarian  Dodtor  (Prioftlcy) 
road  "  v'ith  pleafure,  and  cvlu  tnthuli- 
'•'  afm,"  it  is  thought,  that  our  Democrats  rc- 
idly  began  to  believe  there  was  a  God  ;  and  there 
is  no  tv.;lling  what  a  favourable  change  of  conduft 
this  mit/iit  have  produced,  if  the  news  of  the 
unfortunate  cataltropho  of  the  i8th  of  July  had 
not  come  to  fet  their  affeOion  a  float  again.  It 
is  now  wandering  in  thefea  of  uncertainty  ;  nor 
can  we  ever  expect  to  fee  it  caft  anchor,  'till  n-c 
know  who  has  the  fecure  pofleflion  of  the  Guil- 
liotine.  i ,,,  .  "     ,  •«  ^j 

Yet  (for,  though  thate  the  very  nanie  of  De- 
.mocrit,  I  would  fcorn  to  detract  from  their  me- 
rit) there  is  one  charafter  to  whom  they  have 
ever  conferved  an  unftiaken  attachment.  How 
grateful  muil  it  be  to  thee,  injured  fhade  of  tire 
gentle  Marat !  whether  thou  wandered  on  the 
flowry  banks  of  the  Stygian  Pool,  or  bathed 
thy  pure  limbs  in  the  delightful  liquid  of  Tarta- 
rus, or  walked  hand  in  hand  with  Je/us-C/jrit? 
in  that  literary   Elyfium,  the    Philadelphia  Ca- 

alTifted  in  pivfling  an  aft  of  condemnation  arrVmft  him  ;  ami 
'another  aft,  by  which  his  innoceat  wife  and  children  were 
left  without  bread  to  eat!  Poor  Lafs  yette  !  to  .make  nlc 
of  a  parody  on  vonrowii  words,  "  May  yonr  fate  ferve  as 
Icdbn  to  demagogues,  and  as  as  example  to  govera- 
ments." 

*  See  the  C-.ui'al  AJve'ltf.r. 


s  fupplanteil 
iJfal  Dantoriy 
:  Aridocrats, 
'  But  the 
:  was  obliged 
elision  ot  Ro- 
the  fubjuft  of 
or  (Pricftlcy) 
Lii  tnthuli- 
)cinocrat3  re- 
jil ;  and  there 
gc  of  conduft 

news  of  the 
ti  of  July  had 
)at  again.  It 
nlaiuty  ;  nor 
clior,  'till  wc 

of  the  Guil- 

name  of  De- 
"om  their  nie- 
m  they  have 
iment.  How 
\  Ihade  of  the 
dereft  on  the 
)1,  or  bathed 
|uid  of  Tarta- 
\x  Jefus'Chrul 
Uadelphla  Ga- 

affiinft  him  ;  ami 
id  children  were 
re  !  to  inake  ulc 
yoiir  fate  ferve  as 
iiple  to   govera- 


fc"//^,*— how  grateful  mufl:  it  bs  to  thee,  thougri 
thou  makefl  Hell  more  hideous  and  frightnert 
the  very  furies  into  fits,  to  be  yet  adored  by  the 
Democrats  of  the  city  of  brotherly  love  ! 

The  American  Union  prefcnrs,  at  this  mo- 
ment, a  fpettacle  that  Ibartics  the  eye  of  reafon. 
We  fee  a  kind  of  political  land- mark,  on  one 
fide  of  which,  Order  walks  hand  in  hand  with 
the  moft  perfect  Liberty  j  and,  on  the  other. 
Anarchy  revels,  furrounded  with  itsden  of  Haves! 
We  fee,  that  thofewho  are  moft  accuftomed  to 
the  cxefcife  of  tyrafnny,  are  the  firll  to  oppofe 
every  meafure  for  the  curbing  of  liccntioufnefs  ^ 

*  In  this  print,  for  the  mcntlj  of  July  laft,  is  a  lift  of  De- 
♦nocrats,  thi  great  btinfUian  uf  mankind;  among  them  ar4 
Marat  and  Jiftis  Chriji.  ^ 

1  hope,  reader,  you  arc  fcnfiblc  of  the  bcnef.u  Jtfus  Chritt 
rias  CO  terrcd  on  the  world;  but  perhaps  you  may  not 
Unowvhathas  entitled  Marat  tn  an  equality  with  him 
Know  then,  .that  /l/^r^/ was  the  principle  author  .  t  the 
Mafacrcj  of  the  ad  and  ?d  September,  1 793,  in  wjiich 
upwards  of  two  thoufand  five  hundred  innocent  pcrfons 
were  inhumanly  butchered  ;  and  that,  after  this,  he  open- 
ly declared  in  the  National  Convention,  and  publiflied  re- 
peatedly, that  another  two  thoufand  five  hundred  heads 
vere  neceflary  to  the  eftablifhment  of  the  Liberty  of  the 
French.  •' 

potior  Moor,'  (Who  was  far  from  being  an  enemy  to  revo- 
lutionary  principles)  fpeaks  o( Marat  \i}  the  following  terms 
V  Marat  is  a  little  man  of  a  cadaverous  complexiOT.  and 
•'  a  countenance  exceedingly  expreffivc  of  his  difpofition  s 
to  a  painter  of  niaflacrej,  Marat's  head  would  be  incflima- 
"  ble.  In  another  place,  he  fays :  «  This  Marat  is  faid 
•'  to  love  carnage  like  a  vulture,  -Jnd  to  delight  in  humaa 
•'  facrifices  like  Moloch,  God  of  the  Ammonites."  Here 
reader,  you  fee  the  man  that  the  P/j^adetphia  Gazette  (whofe 
pf/rvar  "  P»''^'<=  fi°«'l"-'  puts  upon  a  level  with  the 


G 


W" 


'~~rg!G::SS??x 


-*^ 


j 


('    44    ) 

or,  in  other  words,  we  fee,  that  anarchy  and 
dci'potifnj  are  the  faniu. 

If  there  could  be  found  a  perfon  in  this  coun- 
try who  had  a  doubt  of  this,  I  think,  tlie  follow- 
ingauthentic  pieces  would  operate  his  conviQion. 
We  ought  not  to  fpcak  ill  of  our  neighbours, 
but  if  people  will  fpeak  ill  of  themfclvcH,  believ- 
ing them  ought  not  to  be  termed  malice.  Let 
ds  hear  then  what  our  Democrats  fay  of  them- 
felves.  '    • 

Toiijls  (Inwk  on  the  CthofFeb.  1794,  by  French 
and  American  Citizcjis. 

"  1.  The  Democratic  Societies   throughout 

the  world may  they  ever  be  the  watchful 

guardians  of  Liberty. 

"  2.  Citizen  Mad'tfon  and  the  Republican  par- 
ty in  Congrefs. 

"  3.  The  firm  patriot,  and  true  Republican, 
Citizen  Genet.*— a  falute  from  the  French 
Sloop  of  War. 

"  4.  The  Guilliotine  to  all  Tyrants,  Plun^ 
derers,  znd  funding  Speculators. 
"  5.  May  the  flags  of  France  and  America 
ever  be  united  againfl  regal  tyranny. 
"  6.  The  6tb  of  February,  1778,  the  day 
•which  fecured  liberty  to  America^*  andfowed  it* 
feeds  in  the  foil  crFrartce.  ^ 

•  This  was  candid  indeed.  The  Democrats  might  have 
left  us  to  believe,  that  the  "  republican  firtj"  in  Congreft." 
ircant  the  real  friends  of  this  country  ;  hut  they  have  taken 
care  to  avoid  leading  us  into  this  error,  by  calling  Citizen 
Genet  a  true  refuhlkan. 

t  Here  they  confefs  then,  that  llic  treaty  with  Louis 
XVI.  fcQured  liberty  ta  America. 


(C 


(S 


« 


« 


cc 

(C 


■■•!?s-*jeJ^'!^Jt^£M'^■^■:■^^smi^>r,'M<^'.i*'^^^^^^^ 


irchy  and 

this  coun- 
he  follow- 
:onviftion. 
eighbours, 
/C8,believ- 
illce.     Let 
of  ihem- 

1 

,  by  French 

hroughout 
e  watchful 

ub/icanpar- 

5 
Republican., 

tie  French 

Its,   Plun- 

d  America 

3,  the   day 
J  fowed  it» 

( 

ts  might  have 
inCongreft," 
?y  have  Taken 
Uing  Citizen 

, 

•with  Louis 

(    45    ) 

'  «  7.  Gratitude.     The   firO:   of  National   as 
**  well  as  individual  virtues.* 

"  8.  May  laws  and  not  proclamations,^  be  the 
♦*  inftrumcuts  by  which  free  men  ihall  be  repula- 
*'  ted.  " 

"  9.  The  pcrfecutcd  Citizen  Genet;  may  his 
"  country  reward  his  honefl  zeal,  and  the  fhafts 
"  of  calumny  levelled  againft  him,recoil  upon  the 
"  Archers.\ 

"  10.  May  all  men  who  afplre /» /W«Ar^;„tf 

powxrhc  brought  below  the  level  of  their  fel. 
*'  low  citizens. 

"II.  The  courageous  and  virtuous  moun. 
"  tarn,  may  it  crufh  the  moderates,  the  traitors 
**  theA^^/-fl///?j  and  all   aridocrats,  Kn./tT -u;/;^/! 
"  ever  denomination  they  may  be  difguifed. 

"  12.  Succefs  to  the  brave  Republicans  of 
"  Louifiana.% 

"  i:>,.  Deltruaion  to  the  enemies  of  the 
"  French  Republic,  both  by  Sea  and   Land 

"  M.  Henry  Grattan,and  the  Oppofition"  of 
"  Ireland. 

•  Do  you  doubt  of  their  gratitude  ?     Hear  them  fine 
"  tame  let  thy  trumpet  found,  ^" 

*'  Tell  all  tile  world  aromd 

"  How  ^V''/ fell  J  &c." 
+  The  reader  hardly  wants  to  be  told,  that  the  Prefix 
dent  s  Proclamation  of  Neutrality  is  meant  here 

X  The  Prefident  of  the   United  States  was  the  Archer 
that  brought  the  Citizen  from  his    lofty  perch. 

Reader,  is  it  not  rather  furprifing  that  Thomas  Mifflin 
Governor  of  the  <>Ute  of  Pennfylvania,  fhould  affift  at  thd 
drmkmg  ofthefe  two  toads  ? 

,  V  ''Mf  ^Republicans  were  a  gang  of  brigands,  committin  <r 
robberies  m  the  fpanifh  territories,  and  who  were  profcribc^ 
by  proclamation.  ^ 

G    2 


y.^9^*fivy^\f.'jf^a^^'*i*n 


(    46    ) 
.<  ,;  Citizens  Fox  and  Stanhope,  and  th« 

,.  Ly  pivadeihe  Univek  Three  eheers.  anti 

"  fettSsffil  take  .he  liberty  of  ad- 
dil  two  othetst  both  from  the  fame  Newfpapen 
rl^  ^f  them  IS  an  elegant  account  of  the  dote 
f'^'cfv  c  fotft,  and  the  other,  though  not  ab- 
?,.^nn  the  fame  fubjea  as  the  firft/certtnn- 

^:'^''^  to  is  beauty     The  firlt  is  the  precious 
y  adds  to  its^eauty  ^  ^^^^  ^^^^^^^^^ 

;t:^\hta"aspoffibletoeachother. 


.    ««  After  this  the  Cap 
«  of  Liberty  was   pla- 
<«  ced  on  the  head  of 
«  the  Prefident,  then 
<«  on    each    member. 
<«  The  marfellois  hymn 
f  and    other     fimilar 
"  fongs  were   fung  by 
«  different  Frencfi  citi- 
<*  isen  members.  Thus  _ 
«  chearfuUy  glided  the 
"  hours   away  of  this 
«'  feaft,  made  by  con-| 
*'  genial  fouls  to  com- 1 


^'  For  Sale, 

"  Two  negro  lads, 
<'  one  about  twelve 
"  and  the  other  about 
**  fifteen  years  old--- 
"  both  remarkably 
"  healthy  ;— the  youn- 
"  geft  is  near  four  feet 
"  nine  inches  high, 
"  and  the  oldeft  above 

"  five   feet Alfo 

a  negro  werich  for 
fale,  coming  eigh- 
tee?i  years   old,  and 


••"'  genial  louis  lu  i,uin- 1  iv-v.^'  j^'">'  -— •»  — — 
«  memorate  the  happy  "  far  advanced  with 
^,L   J-..    . _!,„.»  »K^   JViric     a  .-hWA hilt       vetv 


"  day,  when  the  fons  ^' 
«  of  Frenchmen  joined 
«  the  fons  of  America 
[^  to  over'thrpvyr  tyran- 
*«  ny  in  this  happy 
«'  land."  I 


jhild -but      vety 

ftrong  and  capable, 

"  of     any     kind    of 

«  work."  !  I  !  1 


pe,  and  th^ 

termty--may 
cheers,  and 

iberty  of  ad- 
B  Newfpaper. 

of  the  clofe 
3Ugh  not  ab- 
firft,  'certain- 

the  precious 
lall  therefore 
ich  other. 

'or  Sale, 

)  negro  lads, 
ibout  twelve 
e  other  about 

years   old— ; 

remarkably 

y ;— the  youn- 

near  four  feet 

inches    high, 
le  oldeft  above 

'eet Alfo 

ro  wench  for 
coming  eigh- 
^ears  old,  and 
dvanced  with 
— -but  very 
g  and  capable, 
any      kind    of 

"III! 


(     47     ) 

leaving  this  without  comment,  I  fliall  add  at* 
extraaor  two  from  a  debate  ofCongrcfn,  whicl^ 
*i  (hall  alfo  leave  without  comment :  fuch  thm^s 
fcorn  the  aid  of  declamation. 

The  fubjea  of  the  debate  I  allude  to  was,  aa 
amendment  to  a  bill  of  NaturaHzation.  A  mem- 
ber from  Virginia  had    propofed   that    a   claufe 
Ihould  be  inlerted  to  exclude  foreign  noblemen 
from  becoming  citizens  of  the  United  States  of 
America,  unlefs  they  would  firft  make  a  folcmn 
renunciation  of  their   Titles.     A  member   from 
iSfew  England  propofed,  as  an  amendment  to  this, 
that  fuch  noblemen  Ihould  alfo  renounce  the 
right  oi  holding Jlaves,     On  this    amendment  a 
member  from  Carolina  faid :  '?  That  the   gen- 
«  tleman  durfi  net  come  forward,  and   tell  the 
"  houfe,  that  men  who  pofepdJJaies  were  un- 
«  fit  for  holding  an  office   under  a   Republican 
f*  government.— He  defired  the   gentleman    to 
«  confider  what  might  be  the  confequence  of 
"  this  motion,  at  this  time,    confidcring  what 
had  happened  in  the   Weft  Indies.— His  a- 
mendment  ivould  irritate  the  minds  of  thou- 
fands  of  good  citizens  in  the  fouthern  States, 
as  it  affcfts  the  property  which  they  have  ac- 
'"  quired  by  theiV  indu/iry — ^He  thought  that 
"  the  amendment  partook  more  of  monarchical 
i»  principles  than  any  tiling  which  he  had   feen 
*'  for  fome  time."  * 

A  member  from  Virginia  faid  on  the  fame  oc- 

dfion,  that"  He  held  property /acred,  and  ne- 

i"  ver  could  confent  to   prohibit   the  emigrant 

*'  nobiKty/row  having JIaves  any   more  than  o- 

*  It  is  not  amiCs  to  hear  Ripublicanii.cc\zrc,  that  wc.'-rf'- 

chkal  principles  tend  to  difcountenatice  Slavery.     A  doctrine 

jike  this  would  furprife  the  part jzansof  Citizens  Stanbppe 

»nd  Fox. 


':4'.»t"it;"i'»r.;iKf.j;p.t,.  ■-■gj-it^jijgjjj.^^ 


f.  48  )■ 

'"  ther  people.  But  as  for  titles  rf  nobility  they 
••'  were  quite  a  different  thing."  * 

Oh !  happy  Carolina  !  happy,  thrice  happy 
Virginia  !  No  tyrannical  Ari(locrat  dares  to  iprd 
it  over  the  free  born  fwairis  who  ciUivate  the 
delicious  weed,  that  adorns,  firft  thy  lovely  fields 
and  thenthe  lovelier  chops  of  the  drivling  drunk- 
ard !  After  having  fpent  the  day,  in  Tinging 
hymns  to  the  Goddefs  of  Liberty,  the  virtuous 
Democrat  gets  him  home  to  his  peaceful  dwel- 
ling, and  fleeps,  with  his  property  fecure  beneath 
his  roof,  yea,  fometimes  in  his  very  arms ;  and 
when  his  "  indujiry"  has  enhanced  its  value,  it 
bears  to  a  new  owner  the  proofs  of  his  Deino- 
cratic  Delicacy  ! 

What  a  difference  between  thefe  happy  States, 
and  thofe  vile  arillocratical  ones  in  Europe ! 
Theie,  as  the  poet  fays, 

" — — ■  a  few  agree 

"  To  call  it  freedom,  when  themfehes  arc  free  ; 

"  A  land  of  Tyrants  and  a  den  of  Slaves, 

**  Where  wretches  find  difhonourable  graves." 

This  I  mufl  confefs  is  a  gloomy  fubjeft,  and 
therefore  we  will,  if  you  pleafe  reader,  return 

*  This  gentleman's  motion  againfl  titled  foreigners  has 
excited  fome  curiofity,  and  ftill  appears  inexplicabTe  to  ma- 
iiy,  feeing  that  it  was  totally  unneceffary  :  but,  to  me,  ic 
appears  no  more  than  natural  :  It  is  in  the  heart  of  man,  rea- 
der, you  miiftfearch  for  ah  explication  of  motions  like  this. 
When  you  go  to  take  an  airing  in  a  chair,  do  yon  not  find, 
that  every  Drayman  and  Clodpole,  you  meet  or  overtake, 
thwarts  you  in  your  road  as  much  as  ]>e  can  ?  Does  he  not 
force  creatures,  much  more  humane  and  polite  than  him- 
Idf,  to  ftifle  yoi:  with  duft  or  cover  you  with  mire  I  Is  it 
iirt  a  luxury  to  htm,  if  he  can  overfet  your  carriage  and 
t)reak  your  linihs  r  You  (lire,  and  wonder  what  you  have 
don«"  to  the  malicious  l^oor.  Alas  !  you  have  done  nothing 
tuhinii  "^'l  }'0"*  f'l  •^'-  i'j"i*vii);;  a  chair  'AuiSe  lie  hai  none. 


.f^,M.'mmt;^-/,-rT:,riffl'.:S^--^i!^Vi^ir'ihll-'-^''^'' 


SiSii(M«Vt/f '•'iaiWi33S»»-si*  * 


nobility  they 

irice  happy 
lares  to  Iprd 
nlfivate  the 
lovely  fields 
ling  drunk- 
in  finging 
le  virtuous 
:eful  dwei- 
ure  beneath 

arms'y  and 
its  value,  it 

his  Deino- 

ippy  States, 
In  Europe! 


—  a  few  agree 
re  free  ; 

;raves." 

ubjed,  and 
dcr,  return 

foreigners  has 
vlicabTe  to  ina- 
but,  to  me,  ic 
rt  of  man,  rea- 
Lions  like  this. 

0  yon  not  find, 
t  or  overtake, 
?  Does  he  not 
tiite  than  him- 

1  mire  ?  Is  it 
carriage  and 

v\\sx  you  have 
!  done  nothing 
e  lie  hai  none. 


(    49    ) 

once  again  td  the  Political  Prcgrefs  of  Britain ', 
for  change,  they  fay,  even  of  calamities,  is 
ehearful. 

Though  the  encouragers  of  this  work  might 
think  it  a  means  of  deceiving  the  ignorant,  and 
adding  to  the  prejudice  againft  Great  Britain, 
yet  they  Teem  to  have  had  another  view,  which 
perhaps  the  oudden  of  an  author  knew  nothinpj 
of.  The  Political  Progrcfs  profefies  to  Ihow  "  the 
ruinous  confequences  of  taxation.'*  And,  indeed, 
this  is  the  burden  of  the  fong  ;  almofl  every 
paragraph  c'ofes  with  melancholy  reflexions  on 
the  coniequence  of  taxation.  The  ^  author  even 
goes  fo  far,  in  one  place,  as  to  declare,  that 
*«  theflightefi  and  mofl  necejary  taxes,^Te  very  def- 
*'  truftive".  This  it  was  that  recommended  the 
plec'j  I  vhc  gentlemen  who  encouraged  the  author 
to  pu*^'  I  in  America :  it  was  fo  apropos  too  i 
fojuP    .      sry  thing. 

Wit"  refpeft  to  the  expediency  of  taxation  in 
general,  it  is  not  to  my  prefent  purpofe 
to  fay  any  thing  about  it  ;  every  one  that 
is  not  already  upon  four  legs,  knows  that  he 
foon  muft  be  fo  without  fomething  of  this  kind:* 
what  I  wi(h  to  direct  the  reader's,  attention  to,  is, 
the  real  objeft  of  the  publication  in  queftion. 
If  then  he  will  take  the  trouble  to  compare  the 
above  doftrine  on  taxation,  with  that  held  forth 
by  the  "  "Weftern  Brethren,"  and  their  relations! 
in  every  quarter  of  the  Union  ;  and  if  he  will 
plcafe  to  take  notice  of  the  time  when  the  Poli- 
tical Prcgrefs  was  preparing  for  prefs  (the  month 
pf  Augufl  laft)  he  will,  1  fancy  be  of  opinion, 

*  May  not  thishe  the  reafon  why  onr  Democrats  are  con- 
tinually cry  inp  out  againf):  taxes  ?  1  muft  conitls,  1  think 
they  would  r>ot  look  amili  upoii.all  fours. 


SSB^SS^F" 


•^^gfeag^^a^^ai^t^gfew^M^gAssafe^ij! 


'witK  nie,  that  the  enccuragers  had  the    United 
States  in  their  eye  much  more  than  GreatBritain- 
As  if  they  hud  faid  :  look  here,  Americans,-  fee 
ivbat  taxation  has  done  in  another  ceuntry  ;  and,  if 
.  you  do  not  put  aftcp  toit,  ij  you  do  not  refijl  it  with 
all  your  might,  it  will  certainly  dd  the  fame  inyouf 
own.    The  national  debt,  taxes,  &c.  of  Great 
Britain  were  well  adapted  to  their  purpofe ;  they 
knew,  by   themfelves,  that  the  bulk  of  readers 
were  incapable  of  going  into  calculations  of  thi» 
kind;  of  making  juftcomparifons  bet\Veen  tSli 
Country  and  that ;  it  was  like  reading  the  hifto- 
ry  of  a  giant  to  a  pig'^y*  .      '    .. 

'  Nobody  can  doubt,  particularly  'iicountryhe 
taken  into  the  confideration,  that  the  grinderrf 
and  retailers  of  Mundungus   were  among  the 
autho.'a   :ncourngers.     I   remember   hearing  a£ 
fpeaker   of  this  honourable    body,  holding  rf 
talk  to  his  brothers,  in  the  month  of  May  lafl:« 
from  the  window  of  a  Certain  State  Houfe.     I 
{hall  not  eafily  forget  his  faying,  aitiong  many 
other  things  equally  modefl   arid  unafluming,' 
that  he  had  told  the  Secretary  cf  the  Treafuryi 
that  if  the  Mundungus  was  taxed,  "  he  would 
^'  be  damndxie^tx  be  forgave  him,  while  he  had 
"  an  exiftcnce."     His  fpeech,  though  from  th« 
fample  here  given,  it  may  befuppofedto  furpaf* 
hi  ribaldry  thofe  of  Tom  the  Tinker  or  even  7on\ 
the  Devil,  had  an  amazing  effeft  upon  the  loons 
below,  who  were  all  watching  with  their  jaws 
diftended  to  catch,  not  the  oracular,  but  the  an- 
archical belches.     When  the  refolve  was  put, 
it  would  have  done  your  heart  good  to  fee  and 
hear.     What  a  foreft  of  rufty  hats  and  dirty 
paws  were  poked  up  into  the  air  in  token  of  ap- 
probation of  "wo  excifeP* 


r^k-^ ;■■''  .ijs.sa'VJ'^ifV'vJ^..-'- :-  -^-■..' ' ' ''  '■■  .!ii^w;a^fev-'y";?^g*?y^«^-^'^*'^"^"'''^^'''^" 


:L 


e  UnitctJ 
:at  Britain - 
"icanSf-  fee 
y ;  and,  if 
(ijlit  luith 
ame  in  youf 
of  Great 
pofe ;  they 
.  of  readers 
ons  of  this 
nWeen  tfift 
g  the  hifto- 

'{  country  he 
le  grindersf 
among  the 
heariiig  a: 
holding  a 
■  May  lafti 
;  Houfe.     I 
tiong  many 
jnafluming, 
e  Treafury; 
*'  he  would 
,'hile  he  had 
gh  from  th^ 
ed  to  furpafs 
or  even  Tom 
on  the  loons 
h  their  jaws 
,  but  the  an- 
Ive  was  put, 
i  to  fee  and 
ts  and  dirty 
token  of  ap- 


?!*!kt».?J'Kt.t!l€i!W"'':'. 


(    5'    ) 

,  *    "Jack  5;traw  at  London — Stone  wiili  all  liis  rout, 
'<  i:tnick  not  thj  City  with  fo  loud  a  fliout." 

But  this  had  no  elTccl  ;  and  now  they  run* 
about,  *' with  many  a  deadly  grunt  and  doleful 
"  fqueak,  poor  iwine,  as  if  their  pretty  hearts 
"  would  break." 

It  is  certainly  worthy  of  remark,  that,  among 
the  fpeechifiers  at  this  talk,  there  was  but  one 
American,  and  that,  among  the  hollow  boys, 
perhaps  there  were  not  twenty.  How  kind  is 
this  of  foreigners,  to  come  and  put  us  in  the 
right  road,  when  we  are  going  wrong  ! 

Compare  the  principles  of  the  fupporters  of 
this  talk,  and  thofe  of  their  "  Weftern  Breth- 
ren," with  the  principles  inculcated  in  The  Po- 
litical Progrefs  of  Britain,  and  fee  if  they  do  not 
exaiSly  tally  ;  if  they  do  not  all  point  to  the  fame 
objeft  ;  that  is  to  fay,  to  the  undermining  of 
all  government,  and  to  the  deftruftion  of  the 
focial  fyftem.  Is  it  not  fair  then  to  conclude 
that  The  PoliticalProgrefs  was  employed  as  an 
auxiliary  in  this  laudable  enterprize? 

If  this  was  not  its  objeft,  what  was  its  obje£t  ? 
I  would  a(k  the  lovers  of  their  country,  if  fuch 
there  are  among  the  encouragers  of  this  author, 
what  good  they  could  intend  to  render  it  by  fuch 
a  (tep  ?  I  think  they  would  be  puzzled  for  an 
anfvver.  Did  they  imagine,  could  they  imagine, 
that  his  having  narrowly  efcaped  tranfportation, 
in  his  own  country,  was  a  fufficient  fecurity  for 
his  being  a  mofl  excellent  citizen  in  this?  Be- 
caufe  his  bookhad  been  burnt  by  the  hands  ofthe 
common  hangman  in  Scotland,  did  they  imag- 
ine  that  itwas  calculated  for  the  edification  ofthe 
people  of  the  United  States  ?    That  the  author 

H 


'>wiii_V»trj^'.iijfi«!i;|^^j»jiajAsft;^P<»p|y^^ 


f      52      ) 

belifeved  this  to  be  the  cafe  is  clear, otherwifeh* 
would  not  have  introduced  himfclt  by  expofing 
that,  which  he  certainly  would  have  kept  out 
of  fight  if  he  had  been  appealing  to  virtue  or 
reafon,  inftead  of  prejudice.  . 

To  whit  a  pitch  mull  this  unmeaning,  this 
fruitlefs  ill.nature  againd  a  foreign  country  be 
carried,  if  to  be  declared  infamous  there,  is  be- 
come a  recommendation  here  !     If  a  fellow,  to 
ufherhimfelf  into  favour,  muft  cry  out :  1  have 
had  a  narrow  efcape  !     Look  ye,  Sfff'^J'''[ 
the  mark  of  the  halter  about  my  neck  yet  <     It  tms 
be  the  cafe  wc  may  as  well  adopt  at  once  that 
Bmous  decree   of\he   Jacobin  Club  at  Paris 
which  requires  as  an  eilential  qualification  in 
cnch  member,  that  he  Ihall,  previous  to  his  ad- 
miffim,  have  committed  fome  crime  worthy ot 
the  mbbet  1     A  regulation  like  this  was   very 
proper,  and  even  neceffary  in  a  democratic  club  , 
and,  for  that  very  reafon,  unnecelfaty  and  impro- 
per every  where  elfe. 

^  The  Political  Progre/s  is  in  politics,  what  mad 
Tom's  Jge  of  Reafon  is  in  religion,  and  they  have 
both  met  with  encouragement  from  fome  people 
here,  from  nearly  the  fame  motive.     Had  not 
the  laft  mentioned  piece  been  fuppreffed  in  En- 
glarfli,there  is  everyreafontobelieve.that  it  would 
never  have  rivaled  the  Bible  among  us,  m  fo  ma- 
ny families  as  it  does.      What  a  prepofterous 
thing!  People,  who  deteft  blafphemous  publi- 
caions,  will  tolerate,  will  read  them  and  put 
them  i^to  the  hands  of  their  children,  becaufe 
other  people  have  declared  them  blafphemous! 

Pope  would  have  faid  ; 

«  Thus  iHridels  the  true  Believers  quit,  ^,  ■ 

.<  And  are  but  damn  d  for  having  too  much  wit. 


?3»WJ.*««->*W  -Ullt'iyilL',:  J®"" 


s??!S5!t^iS£s,r*.ttjfa!S"";; ' 


itherwife  h« 

by  expofing 

vc  kept  out 

virtue    or 

waning,  this 
country  be 
there,  is  be- 
a  fellow,  to 
out :  /  have 
folks,  here's 
ei!     If  this 
it  once  that 
ub  at  Paris, 
alification  in 
us  to  his  ad- 
ne  worthy  of 
is  was   very 
acratic  club  ; 
y  and  impro- 

:s,  what  mad 
.nd  they  have 
1  fome  people 
re.     Had  not 
)Teffed  in  En- 
;,that  it  would 
us,  in  fo  ma- 
prepofterous 
lemous  publi- 
lem  and   put 
iren,  becaufe 
blafphemous ! 

too  much  wit. 


(    53     ) 

TowhM  deception,  .o  what  infultinj?  quack- 

J of"»  foru  has  no,  this  P'JJ-J'"  "P^ffn  "A 
Alroieaor(and,lthinkiike  theAuthorof  theP.- 

fometimeago    to  c^  „g    the   l^angu.„^^_^  ^.^ 

dab  was  a  Oiarpemng  lauce,  wei  ^^ 

■""•"= "  fX^A7St  '"batrian-- 
raariDan  Lansuass    \^i  gu  '^  benefit  of 

Th?s  «rrfi.«  fet  forth,  as  near  as    can  recollea,  . 
S  the  United  States  of  America  havmg,  bv 
'  (V  rnr^efsM  and  elorious  wat;,  (haken  off 
^h'^SfJSui  yoke  of^Britift.  Bondage,   they 

tghtCenKur  by  every  PoffW^  "f  "\  " 
Srate  the  memory  of  havjng  ever  bot^e^^ 

Ha 


jS^fJ^SSUi-itfjtX^'i'A'-*^'^'*^  ■ 


t«I.H,tll  j-L  »jMH  i.u>-  t^iJlt^Mt      ■inyii'g;j'l»J.iiilH>;yfc^;t»>"-"i!fcj,«>t!a.-;'^'TJ 


(    54    ) 

difufe  of  a  barbarous  language,  impofcd  on  tlicm 

by  tyrants,  and  fit  onlv  for  flaves,  &c.  &c 

I  would  advife  the  Author  never  to  read  this  pre- 
face in  a  (table  ;  the  horfes  would  certainly  kick 
his  brains  out. 

Some  readers  may  imagine,  perhaps,  that 
this  is  all  a  joke  ;  but  I  certainly  faw  the  thing, 
as  I  have  defcribed  it,  and  in  the  hands  of  fevc- 
ral  perfons  too.  It  was  in  the  month  of  Odober, 
1793,  that  I  faw  it;  it  was  in  a  fmall  odavo 
volume,  printed  at  Philadelphia,  and  the  Au- 
thor's name  if  I  am  not  miftaken,  Ihornlon. 

After  this,  who  would  wonder  if  fome  one 
were  to  tell  us,  that  it  is  beneath  Republicans 
to  eat,  and  that  we  ought  to  eilabiifli  a  fyftem  of 
French  ftarvation,  only  bccaufc  the  Englifh  live 
by  eating  ? 

There  is  nothing  that  might  not  be  received 
without  furprife  after  the  project  of  this  Linguift, 
and  therefore  we  may  remember  with  lefs  afton- 
ilhment  the  notable  projeft  of  that  Democrat 
Briflbt,  for  curing  the  confuniption.     He  tells  us, 

*  that  our  women  are  more  fubjeft  to  the  cou- 
fumption  than  men,  **  becaufe  they  want  (as 
**  they  do  in  England)  a  will  or  a  civil  enijience : 
**  the  fubmiffion  which  women  are  habituated 
*'  to,  caufes  ohJiru6lions !  deadens  the  vital 
"  principle  and  impedes  circulation."  As  a  re- 
medy for  this,  he  produces  us,  quack  like,  his 
infallible  noltrum.  Liberty  and  Equality  !  Graci- 
ous Heavens  i  Liberty  and  Equality  to  cure  the 
co'nfumption ! 

Yes,  let  him  perfuade  us,  if  he  can,  that  our 
wives  and  daughters  die  of  the  confuniption, 
becaulle  they  do  not,  like  his  execrably  patriotic 

*  See  the  23th  letter  of  his  Travels  in  America. 


■%m»^^'»^^'i^^^^'^^^-^-^'^^^' 


w«=^ 


{    55    ) 

*oncitoyennes,  chantre  gallants  as  often  as  they  do 
their  chemifei  ;  iF  he  could  even  convince  us  of 
the  efficacy  of  his  remedy,  we  (hould  certainly 
rejed  it,  as  ten  thoufand  million  times   worfc 
than  the  difeafe.     And  you,  ye  Fair  Americans, 
are  you  afhamed  to  follow  thebright  example  of 
your  Mothers  ?  Would  you  accept  of  Mr.  Brit 
fot's  noftrum  ?  No  ;  you  are  too  mild,  too  love- 
ly, to  become  the  tribune  of  a  Democratic  Club: 
your  lilly  hands  were  never   made   to  wield   a 
dagger:  you  want    no  rights,    no   power  but 
what  you  poflTefs :  your  empire  is   much  better 
guarded  by  a  bofom  of  fnow,  than  it  would  be 
by  the  rufty  batterred  bread   plates,  worn    by 
thofe  terrible  termagants,  the  "heroines  of  Pa- 
**  ris." 

When  I  faid  that  we  fliould    certainly  rejeft 
Mr.  Briffot's  remedy,  I  by  no  means  meant  to 
include  the  members  of  Democratic  Societies  and 
ethers  of  that  (lamp  :  becaufe  they  are  fo  diame- 
trically oppofite  in  their  taltes,  to  the   reft   of 
mankind,  that  I  queftion  much  whether  they  do 
not  look  upon  a  pair  of  antlers  as  an  honoura- 
ble mark  of  diftinftion.     Nor   is    it   impoflible 
that  many  of  them  may  really   be  decorated  to 
their  hearts  content ;  for,  certain  it  is   that  the 
ladies  do  not  bear  them  a  very  great   afFeftion. 
They  imagine,  and  with  reafon,  that  the  Demo- 
crats, in  their  rage  for  equality,  may,  one   of 
thefedays,  attempt  to    reduce  them  to  a  level  ' 
with  their  fllble  "  property,"     Befides,   if  they 
ftood  ever  fo  fair  in  the   opinion  of  the  ladies, 
muft  not  their  gander-frolicks,  and  their  fqueez- 
ing,  and  hugging,  and  kifling  one  another,  be 
expeded  to  caufe  a  good  deal  of  pouting  and 
jealoufy  ?  And  then,  at  the  back  of  ail  IhJs, 


r  I 


^-'■JiySfA=^----fi^^^^^''jf~,  ^ 


> 


(    56    ) 

comes  their  intriguing  with  that  oullandifliGod- 
dcfs  of  Liberty  !  this  aVone  muft  inevitably  wean 
them  from  their  hiwful  connexions  ;  tor,  it  is 
morally  impofliblc,  that  one,  who  is  admitted 
toclandeiline  familiarities  with  a  Deity,  Ihould 
aot  dildaiu  a  poor  thing  in  petticoats.     La  Fon- 
taine has  a  verfewhich  fays,  that  a  man  can  ne- 
ver bend  his  knees  too  often  before  his  God  and 
his  Miftrefs  ;  bur  our  Democrats  have  laid  alide 
both  God  and  Miftrefs,    and   have   taken   up 
with  a  ilrumpet  of  a  Goddefs,  who  receives  the 
homage  due  to  both. 

Being  upoa  this  fubjeft,  it  is  hardlj  fair  to 
omit  memioninga  great  and  mighty  democrat, 
who  is  univerfally  allowed  to  be  a  perfed  plato- 
tonift  both  in  politics  and  love,  and  yet  has  the 
unconlcionable  ambition  to  fet  up  for  a  man  ot  , 
raltantry.    He  has  taken  it  into  his  head  to  run 
aangling  from  one  Boarding  School  to  another, 
m  order  to  acquire  by  the  art  of  fpeechifying, 
a  reputation  for  which  nature  feems  to  have  dii- 
qualified  him.     My  imagination  cannot  form  o 
itfelf  any  thing  more  perfedly   comic  than  ta 
fee  a  diminutive  fuperannuated  bachelor,  cocked 

up  upon  aftool,  and  fpouting  o"t  compliments 
to  an  affembly  of  youne  Miffe..  Ah !  dear  Plato^ 
take  my  word  for  it,  if  your  reputation  had  been 
no  higher  among  the  Democrats  than  among 
the  ladies,  your  name  wodd  never  ha  c 
found    a    place     on    their     lift-  ^^^^^^^ 

the  fair,  i/the  bloom  of  fifteen,';  ^ehnomore 
emotion  at  your  fine  fpeecbes,  than  (he  would 
at  the  quavers  of  an  Italian  Singer  :  for,  though 
?hey  are  both  equally  foft  and  fmooth,  there  s 
*  certain  concaVenation  of  ideas  (do  )-ou  ui^der- 
ftand  me  ?)  that  whifpers  her  heart,  that  all  you 
h-!"c  Sd,  and  aAl  you  can  fay,  is  not  worth  one 


idl  God- 
ly wean 
>r,  it  is 
dmittcd 
,  (lioiild 
La  Fon- 
i  can  ne- 
God  and 
aid  afide 
aken   up 
eives  the 

f  fair  to 
iemocrat, 
ed  plato- 
;t  has  the 
a  man  of 
ad  to  run 
)  another, 
echifying, 
ihave  dif- 
ot  form  to 
c  than  to 
or,  cocked 
mpliments 
dear  Plato  I 
n  had  been 
m    among 
ever    have 
«  Phillis 
els  no  more 
{he  would 
For,  though 
th,  there  is 
you  under- 
that  all  you 
»t  worth  one 


^*v- 


(    57    ) 

broTten  figh  from  blooming  twenty  two.     Hear 
what  a  brother  democrat  fays  :* 

<•  Fut  il  forti  dc  ITpirc,  ci\t  iU'ervi  les  Dicux,  ^ 
"  b'at-U  n :■  du  rritlcnt,  il  langMit  s'il  eft  vicux!** 

Thisisnforrowfultruth;  but,take  heart  citizen: 
all  men  are  not  made  for  all  things  ;  it  a  man 
docs  not  know  how  to  play  at  cards,  it  is  kind 
of  him  to  hold  the  candle  ;  he  thn  has  no  teeth, 
cannot  crack  nuts ;  but  that  docs  not  hinder  hmi 
fiom  preparing  them  for  thofe  who  can. 

Now,  reader,  fuffer  me  to  return,  for  the  laft 
tunc,  to  The  Political  Progrefs  of  Britain ;  though 
1  muft  confefs  it  has  aded  only  the  part  of  an 
uHier,  it  ought  certainly  to  appear  at  the  break- 
ing up  of  the  ball. 

The  Political  Progrefs  contains,  among  many 
otherreligioufly  patriotic  things  too  numerous  to 
mention,  a  prophecy,  — not  of  the  deftruc- 
tion  o'^  the  whore  of  Babylom  aiid  the 
''perfonal  m;gw  of  Jefus  over  the  Unitarians,"! 
but  of  the  deftruaion  of  the  empire  of  Great  Bri- 
tain !  This  is  certainly  a  moft  defirable  event, 
and  fo  abfolutely  neceffary  to  our  happinefs,  that 
every  thing  which  has  been  faid  on  the  fubjeft 
merits  our  attention.  The  Unitarian  Doftor 
tells  us,  and  in  a  fcrmon  too,  that  his  coun- 
try muft  foon  undergo  a  "  purification,"  or, 
as  he  calls  it  in  aYiother  place,  "  the  deUruaion 
of  them  that  have  deftroyed  the  earth."  This 
opinion  is  a  good  deal  ftrengthened  by  a  vo- 
^lume  of  dreams   and  predidions,  publilhed  at 

•  Obfervc,  that  he  was  no  democrat  when  he  wrote 
hefe  lines,  or  he  never  would  have  written  thein. 

t  S^Prieftly's  Sermons. 


.;  I 


"':'>'^Tf'¥S^'S'-f'i?J?'fefe~''?''  yiV"^'  m\*^:i-'^i^'ia',{fKi^fii':n  >'. 


(    58    ) 

Pliiladclpliia  by  Ji  bookfcllcr  from  North  Bri- 
tain ,  and  the  whoL'  appears  to  be  fully  con- 
firmed by  this  plain  unquulilied  prophecy  of  the 
author  of  The  Political  Pro^nfs :  "  A  Revolu- 
tion will  take  pl:u:c  in  Scotland  before  the  lapfi: 
uf  leu  years  at  hirthelt." 

If  we  wane  to  know  wliat  fort  of  Revolution 
is  here  me:mt,  we  have  only  to  look  at  the  toafts 
drunk  by  the  republican  IJritons  at  New  York: 
— '^'  A  Revolution  in  Great  Britain  and  Ireland, 
"  upo/i  fain  ciihttc  principles — three  cheers." — 
But  the  long  term  of  ten  years,  mentioned  in 
the  Prophecy  of  the  Author  of  the  Political  Pro- 
ifrefs,  has  given  a  good  deal  of  uneafintfs  to  fonie 
«f  his  zealous  friends  in  this  country.  Ten 
\cars !  'tis  an  eternity!  ihcy  thought  the  Woe- 
Trump>  t  had  already  founded,  and  that  the 
l.ingdoi.iof  PrielUey's  fans  culotte  Heaven  was 
at  hand.  As  a  proof  tliat  I  do  not  advance  this 
upon  night  fvirniife,  I  beg  leave  to  remind  the 
reader  of  what  was  faid  on  the  fubjecl,  in  Con- 
grcfs,  the  other  day,  by  that  "  true  republi- 
*'•  can.  Citizen  Madifon."  *  "If  a  Revobition," 
faid  he,  *'  was  to  take  place  in  Britain,  which 
••'  for  my  part  I  expect  and  believe  will  be  the 
*"  cafe,  the  Peerage  of  that  country  will  be 
"thronging  to  the  United  States.     I  (hall  be 

*  I  his  isilie  f,iipe  ciiizen  who  amufeclthe  Legjflattire  laft 
\ear  with  a  ttrin^'r  of  Refoliuion's,  as  long  as  my  arm, 
about  comniercial  reftri6tions  with  rcfpeft  to  Great  Britain. 
'i  h<y  »re  now, and  were  then,  called  by  way  of  excellence  ; 
"  Madiion's  Relolutions  ;"  but,  though  iliey  caught  like 
to'\cluvood,  tmiciiwood  like,  they  lay  moulderingnpon  the 
taMi  for  nearly  two  months,  witliotit  ever  producing  eith- 
er li;;iu  or  heat.  All  The  pood  they  did,  was  t,o  c oft  the 
I'liii'ii  ;i'.>rtiit20  or  30  tlioufand  dollars  in  debates.  O  !  rare 
Vjtriotiliu  1 


",^ 


■  '»g.#!t;p.«uVj^^^»/^M:r^jag;^wJt^'rV' 


...     I 


(    59    ) 

*'  ready  to  receive  them  with  all  t'lat  hofpltalit^y 
**  relpc'd  imd  tenJcnufs  to  which  misfortune  ia 
"  entitled.  1  Ih.ill  f)>n^,ilhize  'vitli  them,  and  ■ 
■*'  be  as  ready  to  alFord  tliein  whatever  friend l)f 
•'  ofliccj  lie  in  my  power,  as  any  man."  '  1  is 
a  pity  the  poor  de\ils  are  not  apprifcd  of  all  this. 
It  would  certainly  be  an  ad  of  humanity  in  our 
good  Citizen  to  l.t  them  know  what  blefiings  he 
has  in  Jiorc  for  them :  th^y  feem  attached  to 
their  Coronets  and  Coach-and-fixcs  at  prefent  ; 
bpt  were  they  informed  that  they  can  have  as 
much  homony  and  fat  pork  as  they  can  gobble 
down  (once  every  day  of  their  lives,)  liberty  to 
chew  tobacco  and  fmoke  all  the  week,  and  to 
ride  out  on  the  meetin;;-  going  mare  on  Sundays, 
it  might  tempt  them  to  quit  their  baubles  and 
their  poor  bit  of  an  Ifland  without  a  (truggle, 
and  fly  to  the  free  State  of  Virginia. 

And  do  you  really  imagine,  Sir,  that  you 
will  fee  the  Peerage  of  Great  Britain  come 
thronging  round  your  habitation  ?  Do  you  real- 
ly promife  yourfelf  the  extatic  delight  of  feeing 
them  ftand  in  need  of  your  "  fympathy,  tender* 
*'  nefs,  hofpitality  and  good  offices  ?"  It  is  well 
enough  for  Dreamers  and  Fortune-tellers,  for 
a  balHed  Unitarian  from  Birmingham,  or  a  fe* 
cond-fighted  Mumper  from  the  Ifle  of  Skye  to 
entertain  us  with  (uch  vifions  ;  but  for  you,  Sir, 
whom  the  populace  calls"  a  damn'd  Clever 
*'  Fellow,"  to  become  their  dupe,  is  fomething 
amazing.  If  I  am  not  mulaken,  you  obferved 
the  other  day,  that  it  was  improper  for  Conpf^is 
to  meddle  with  the  affairs  of  the^  Democratic 
Societies :  and,  is  it  not  full  as  improper  i'or  one 
of  its  members  to  turn  Soothfayer  concerning 


(    6o    } 

the  affairs  of  other  nations  ?  And  as  for  SynTpa-> 
thy  and  tendernefs.  Sir  ;  thefe  things,  though  a- 
miable  in  themfclvcs,  may  fometimes  appear 
ungraceful.  Certain  Legiflators  have  very- 
wifely  obferved,  that  liberty  is  not  a  bird  of 
every  climate  ;  nor  is  tendernefs  Sir  :  and  though 
I  do  not  abfolutely  aver,  that  a  Jamaica  Slave- 
Dealer  cannot  poffefsone  grain  of  humanity,  yet 
I  coiifefs,  if  he  were  to  talk  to  me  of  his  tender- 
nefs, I  fhould  hardly  forbear  laughing. 

Laying     afide   dreaming   and  foothfaying^ 
what  indications  do  we  perceive  of  an  approach-, 
ing  diffolution  of  the  Empire  of  Britain  ?    Ha& 
flie  loft  an  inch  of  territory,  or  has  the  enemy 
fet  a  foot  on  any  of  her  extcnfive  dominions  fince 
the  begining  of  the  war  ?     Is  (he  not  in  poffef- 
fion   of  almoft   the  whole   Weftern  'Archipe- 
lago ?     Are  not  her  poffeffions  increafed  to  an 
amazing  extent  in  the  Eaft-Indies  ?     Has  fhe  not 
more  men  and   more  cannon  afloat  than  the 
whole  world  befides  -,  and  is  Ihe  not  the  undif- 
puted  Miftrefs  of  the   Ocean  ?    For  my  part, 
the  Engliih  are  no  favourites   of  mine  ;  I   care 
very  little  if  their  Ifland  were  fwallowed  up  by  an 
Earthquakc,asthe  Author  of  thePelitical  Progref& 
fays  i  but  truth  is  truth,  and  let  the  Devil  deny, 
it  if  he  can,  that  this  is  the  truth. 

Are  thefe  indications  of  weaknefs  and  diflrefs  I 
Are  thefe  indications  of  approaching  diffolution? 
We  were  told  the  other  day,  by  a  newfmon- 
ger  whom  I  have  already  mentioned  too  often, 
that  "  a  verbal  account,  of  the  greateft  authen- 
«  ticity,  had  fon/fr;nffi/ the  taking  of  Amfterdam 
«  by  the  French  ;  and  that,  as  foon  as  the  offi- 
««  cial  account  came,  the  Editor  would  not  fall 
'•  10  fing  forth,  in  th&  loudeft  notes,  this  la/i 


or  SyriTpa-' 
though  a- 
;s  appear 
lave  very 
I  bird  of 
nd  though 
ica  Slave- 
lanity,  yet 
his  tender- 

othfaying^ 
approach-, 
lin  ?  Ha& 
he  enemy 
iiions  fince 

in  poffef- 
1  'Archipe- 
afed  to  an 
Has  (he  not 
t  than  the 
the  undif- 

my  part, 
le  ;  I  care 
ed  up  by  an 
cal  Progrefi 
Devil  deny, 

nd  diftrefs  2 
diffblution? 
L  newfmon- 

too  often, 
teft  authen- 
Amfterdam 

as  the  offi- 
uld  not  fall 
:es,  this  la/i 


(     61     )        . 

^^flroke  to  the  power  oi  Britain."  Of  Britain  !  ! 
ot  the  Dutch,  he  means ;  of  our  poor  old  friends 
the  Dutch  1     And  what  have  they  done  to  us  ? 
The  truth  is,  1  believe,  that  the  Enghfh   would 
-  ioin  us  in  rejoicing  at  fuch  an  event   as  this  ; 
that  is  to  fay,when  they  have  given  theHollan- 
ders  time  to  carry  all  their  treafures  over  fo  Lon- 
'>don.     We  pretend  to  laugh  at  John  Bull  ;  but, 
n  fancy,  that  John  is  at  this  moment  laughing 
•in  his  fleeve  at  all  the  world.     The  Baboon  has 
been  tearing  himfelf  to  pieces  'till  he  is  no  more 
a  dangerous  ncighbmir  to  John;  and  if  he  Iliould 
now,  in  his  mad  pranks,  give  Nic  Frog  a  fnap, 
or  even  fwallow  him  up  (as  he  is  very  fond  ot 
■fuch  diet,)  it  will  only   turn   another   gnlt   to 
John's  mill:  John,  if  I  knoiV  any  thing  of  his 
temper,  wants  no  rival  of  any  fort. 

Again,  our  Demagogues  attempt  to  make  our 
jiair  ftaiid  on  end  with  the  Subfidics,  the  EngUlh 
are  paying  to  foreign   princes  ;  and  have   the 
ingenuity  to  draw  an  argument  of  their  poverty 
from  a  ciicumftance,  which,  above  all  others, 
proves  their  riches,  credit,    and  confequence. 
What  does  our  experience  fay  ?  If  we  go  upon 
change,  we  fee  people  buying  bills  upon  Lon- 
don  at  three  or  four /^r  cf«/ above  par  ;  but  it 
a  fellow  were  to  take  it  into  his  head  to  propofe 
the  negociation  of  a  bill  on  Paris,  I  much  quefti- 
on  if  he  would  not  get  kicked  out  into  the  ftreet. 
There  is  no  friendlhip  in  trade.     The  exchange 
is  no  place  for  fraternizing.     If  I  recollect  right, 
the  Secretary  of  State,  in  his  report  on  the  de- 
predations  on  the    commerce,    &c.  complains 
that  the  French  Convention  had  paid  for  certain 
cargoes  of  Provifions  in  AJtgnats,    In  affignatg  1 

1  2 


I 


(     62     ) 

Moibleu  !  what  would  you  have  ?  Are  v  e  not 
told,  by  every  looby  of  a  Captain  that  arrives, 
that  Aflignats  are  at/^r/*  And,  what  is  more, 
has  not  the  Convention  ordered  them  to  be  at 
par,  on  pain  of  the  Gui'liotine  ?  We  have  not, 
I  think,  heard  any  complaints  againft  Englifli 
Bank  Notes  :  and  yet  wr  know  the  Englifli  to 
be  upon  the  point  of  breaking.  "What  fort  of 
work  is  all  this  ? 

But  w^c  are  told  that  there  mu/}  be  a  Revoluti- 
on in  England  ;  for,  that  the  people  are  all 
ripe  for  revolt.  Where  is  the  proof  of  this  ? 
Not  in  the  conduQ:  of  their  land,  or  fea  forces. 
At  the  beginning  of  the  War,  the  Convention 
decreed,  that  the  crew,  of  every  veflel  captured 
from  the  Englifh,  fhould  fiiare  in  the  prize. 
What  good  did  this  bafe  fatanic  democratic  de- 
cree produce  ?  What  good  did  the  fraternizing 
fpeech  of  the  Carmagnole  Admiral  do  ?  I  do  not 
believe  he  even  found  time  to  pronoun  .  i;. 
How  did  the  crew  of  the  Ship  Grange  beb  .;  ;o 
Citizen  Bompard,  when  he  told  them  the)  \i  <  <:<^ 
iofliare  in  the  prize,  and  that  they  were  lo  -u 
prifoners,  hwihh  brothers  I  '*  No,"  faitl  thtx, 

"  you  French  B r,  we  are  none  of  yom 

"  br  '  ?rs."  Alas !  I  fee  nothing  here  that  af- 
ford.,   le  Jeaft  glimps  of  hope.-: But  the 

people  are  difcontented,  and   comp'ain  of  their 

taxes  : t — where  ?  in  England  ?  or  here  ? — 

But  they  have  infurreQions  every  year  : and 

every  day  too,  if  we  believe  our  Newfpapers  ; 
it  appears  hovirever,  that  there  has  been  only  one 
in  England,  of  late  years  ;  and  that  was/or  the 
the  goverment,  inllead  of  againft  it.  A  troop 
cfhorcput  an  end  to  that  iniurrcdion  ;  while 
fifteen  ihoufand  men  were  obliged  to  march  to 


'.ir  iiiWii'nri''iffTn7'"">'Sw"' /'iiiM 


x^ere 


f- 


(  63  ) 

put  an  end  to  ours.    But  they  have  a  dozen 
prifoners  going  to  be  tried  for  High  Trcafon  : 

- and  have   not  we  more  than  two  dozen, 

going  to  be  tried  for  the  fame  oiTence  ?-— O!  but 
-they  have  their  Carmagnole  Clubs,  and  their 
Stanhopes,  and  Foxes,  and  Sheridans  : — yes, 
and,  God  confound  them  !  fo  have  we,  to  our 
forrow  ;  and  have  them  we  (hall,  'till  we  take 
the  fame  method  with  them  that  the  Engiifh 
have  been  taking  with  theirs,for  fome  time  paft. 
vSuppofe,  Bradford,  the  Wat  Tyler  of  the  Weft, 
were  to  get  over  to  London,  and  write  a  Political 
Progrefs  ofAmericaSone\\\ng\he.  dilToIution  of  the 
Union  ;  would  he  not  deferve  a  horfe-whip  in 
place  oi  encouragement  ?  When  the  rnilitia  was 
called  out,  and  cannon  were  planted  oppofite  the 
State  Houle,  laft  May,  to  keep  oft  a  gang  of  in- 
folent  Sailors,  were  we  apprehenfive  of  a  Revo? 
Jution  ?  No ;  but  it  our  Democrats  were  to 
hear  of  fuch  an  event  taking  place  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood of  the  Britifli  Parliament,  Iqueftion 
but  it  might  produce'a  Civic-Feaft. 

Even  fuppofe,  that  that  accurfed  thing,  call- 
ed a  Revolution,  were  to  take  place  among  the 
Britifh  ;  what  good  would  it  do  us  ?  Would  it 
weaken  their  power  ?  that  cannot  be,  becaufc 
we  fay,  it  has  rendered  the  French  ftronger 
than  ever.  Would  it  deftroy  their  credit,  and 
ftarve  them  ?  No  ;  for  our  gazettes  all  affure  us 
upon  their  words  and  honours,  that  the  French 
treafury  is  running  over ,and  that  thepeople's  bel- 
lies are  ready  to  burft.  Would  it  make  therti 
turn  athiefts  and  cannibals  ?  Yes,  but  then, 
it  is  a  good  thing  to  caft  offfuperftition  and  pu- 
niili  Ariftocrats.  In  ftiort,  which  ever  way  I 
turn  the  matter,  wc   are,  according  to  my  fim- 


4 


k'.- 


*« 


-  «i^,.JM-^ftfc-i:..ai.j>»ii.>ii 


f 


I 


(  64  )     , 

pie  judgment,  upon  a  wrong  fcent.  We  are 
•wifhing  for  a  Revolution  in  England !  and  for 
what,  I  would  be  glad  to  know  ?  to  give  the  En- 
glifh  a  (hare  of  all  the  goody  goodies,  eh  ?  No, 
no;  they  are  the  exclufive  property  of  our  dear 
allies,  and,  in  the  name  of  God,  let  them  keep 
them  all  to  themfelves.  To  be  fure  they  have 
juft  given  us  a  tafte,  but  then,  I  hope  we  fhall 
have  too  much  feufe  to  run  about  crying  roaft 
•meat. 

Let  us  open  our  eyes  ;  it  is  pretty  neat  time, 
if  we  do  not  wi(h  to  be  led  blindfolded  to  the 
end  of  tha  farce,  and  even  after  it  is  over.--- 
How  can  it  be  our  intereft  to  give  way  to  this 
moody  temper  towards  a  nation,  with  which, 
after  all,  our  cflnnexions  are  nearly  as  clofeas 
ihofeof  Man  and  Wife?  (I  avoid  the  compari- 
fon  of  Mother  and  Child,  for  fear  of  affefting 
the  nerves  of  fome  delicate  conftitutiom.)     Be- 
caufe  a  war  once  exifted  between  the  two  coun- 
tries, is  that  a  reafon  that  they  ihould  now- hate 
one  another  ?  They  had  their  battle  out  ;  let 
•them  follow  the  good  old  cuftom,  drink  and 
■  Ihake  hands,  and  not  fuffer  themfelves  to  be  let 
together  by  the  ears  by  a  parcel  of  out-landifh 
butchers.     If  the  animofity  were  on  the  fide  of 
the  Britifli,  they  would  have  fome  excufe ;  it  is 
almolt  impoffible  for  the  vanquifhed  party  not  to 
retain  fome  tinfture  of  revenge  ;  but   for  him 
who  boafts  of  his  viftory  to  brood  over  his  ill- 
nature,  is,  to  fay  the  beft  of  it,  very  unamiable. 
That  m?xim  in  war ;  "  a  foe  vanquifhed,  is  a 
**  foe  no  more,"  ought  ever  to  operate  with  him 
who  calls  himfclf  the  vanquilher,  and,  I  believe, 
we  fliould  be  very  loath  to  furrender  that  title. 


# 


»---<-ll»-''«(«»'~^ 


i 


We  are 
and  for 
the  En- 
h?  No, 
3ur  dear 
;m  keep 
;y  have 
Ave  fhall 
ig  roaft 

at  time, 
dto  the 

over.— 
y  to  this 
I  which, 

clofe  as 
compari- 
afFefting 
8.)     Be- 
iro  coun- 
lovf-hate 
out  ;  let 
Irink  and 
to  be  fet 
jt-landifh 
he  fide  of 
ufe ;  it  is 
rty  not  to 

for  him 

;r  his  ill- 

namiable. 

[(bed,  is  a 

with  him 

I  believe, 
that  title. 


<    \     \ 


(65) 

The  depredation   on  the  commerce  is  now 
pleaded  as  the  caufe  of  all  this  ill-blood  5  but  eve- 
ry man  of  candour  will  acknowledge  that  this  is 
.not  the  caufe.     The   Newfpapers  teemed  with 
abufe,  themofl  unprovoked,  unheard-ot,  infa- 
mous abufe  againd  GreatBritain, before  a  fingle 
American  veffclhad  been  (topped  by  theBntiJb. 
Do  we  find  any  thing  of  this  kind  in  theEnghfli 
papers  ?  Do   the  Englifh   publifh  to  the  world 
that  they  wilhto  fee  our  Conftiiution  fubverted  ? 
Have  they  a  Marat  to  mark  out  etir  beloved  Pre- 
fident  and  his  Lady  for  the  Guilliotine  ?  *  Do  their 
'Governors,  Magiftrates,  Military  Officers,  &c. 
affemble  with  cannon  firing,  drums  beating,  and 
bells  ringing  to  celebrate  every  little  advantage 
gained  over  our  troops  by  the  Indians  ?  Do  they 
hoift  the  colours  of  our  enemy,  and  trample  our 
own  under  their  feet,  and  even  burn  them  ?  f 

But,  fay  we,  have  we  not  a  right  to  do  as  wc 
pleafe  ?  Have  we  not  a  right  to  hate  them  ? 
Yes ;  but  do  we  expeft  them  to  love  us  for  this  ? 
Do  we  imagine  that  revenge  can  find  a  place  no 
where  but  in  the  breafts  of  Americans  ?  Do  we, 
becaufe  a  fet  of  fawning  foreigners  tell  us  we  are 
the  only  virtuous  people  upon  the  face  of  the 
earth,  poffefs  the  exclufive  privilege  of  being 
fyftematically  vindiftive  ?  Forgivenefs  of  inju- 

*  For,  you  nmft  know,  reader,  Marat  pubUflicd  what 
DoElor  Moore  calls  «  the  bloody  'Journal"  The  Editor  of 
the  Philadelphia  Gazette  will  certainly  think  himfelf  honour- 
ed by  being  compared  to  a  perfon  whom  he  has  compared 
to  lefus  Chrijl. 

t  Perhaps  the  reader  did  not  fee  the  Britifli  Flag  com- 
mitted to  the  fl-»iTies  to  appeafe  the  man^s  of  the  heroes  ot 
the  Ven^eur  ;  I  did,  and  fhotild  hope  to  fee  the  manly  demo- 
cratic fcene  repeated,  if  the  Carmagnole  Klect  would  bur 
take  another  Cruize. 


EW#e^i**frsJ 


ir... 

if' 


(    65    ) 

ries  iswhat  wc  have  right  to  expe£k  at  thchands  of 
all  men;  but  love  in  return  for  hatred  iswhat 
no  mortal  ought  to  cxpeQ:  from  another  ;  it 
Is  an  effort  beyond  the  power  of  human  nature. 

The  publication  of  fentiraents  like  thefe  un- 
doubtedly require  an  apology  on  the  part  of  the 
Publifher;  but  1  think,  it  is  eafily  found.  Many 
devout  and  fanftified  chriftian  Bookfcllers,  in- 
deed all  of  the  trade  in  the  United  States,  have 
alhfted  in  diftributing  the  Age  or  Reason  ;  and 
not  one  of  theai  has  yet  expreffed  the  leaft  re- 
morfe  of  confcience  for  fo  doing.  Now,  though 
it  maybe,  and  certainly  is,  a  terrible  thing  to 
publim  the  name  of  Britain  unconnected  with 
execration,  yet  it  is  not  much  worfe,  at  mofr, 
than  publifhing  a  libel  againft  Gou. 

As  for  myff  if,  reader,  I  moft  humbly  befeech 
you  to  have   the   Goodnefs  to  think  of  mc — 

|UST  WHAT  YOU  PLEASE. 


** 


■1 


\ 


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f: 


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